Monday, February 20, 2017

Nurse the Hate: Hate The Boat Club 5



You are being contacted to determine your continued interest in joining the Avon Lake Boat Club (ALBC) as a kayak member.  We our lease will be renewed shortly and the creek walls replaced this year.  We anticipate having a limited number of additional kayak spaces available once the creek walls are completed.

We will be eliminating the 'waiting list' as it has been known and have added a new Social Member classification to our rooster.  In the future, all boat storage spaces will be governed by the seniority of the Social members.  This same membership opportunity is available for those residents with motor boat interests.

The dues for a Social member is $100. annually, due the same as all members, March 31st.  The Social member non-voting classification is entitled to attend all ALBC functions, including the fishing derbies, socials, meetings, etc.  The goal of this new classification is to give residents an opportunity to build new friendships and learn about the opportunities members have to enjoy Lake Erie more fully. By utilizing this affordable opportunity, a more complete understanding of the club and benefits are realized without a major investment in a watercraft. The dues for regular motor boat or kayak members is $250. annually, with a one-time $100 initiation fee. 

Please respond by email (with all of your current contact information, including cell phone) if you are still interested in joining the Avon Lake Boat Club by Feb 27th, the date of our next General Membership Meeting at the Old Firehouse, beginning at 7:30 P.M.  If you have any questions, please feel free to call me at 933-XXXX.

Ray Frank



To:  Ray Frank
       Avon Lake Boat Club

Fr:  Greg Miller
Re:  2017 membership opportunity

Ahoy Commodore Frank,

  I was pleasantly surprised to receive your correspondence today in regards to finally bringing me into the fold at the Avon Lake Boat Club.  Your timing is ideal.  A number of years ago I had reached out to Joe in regards to putting me on a fast track to get into the organization.  Joe must have placed me on a wait list, which seems absurd given my impressive qualifications and standing within the outlaw kayaking community.  As I had clearly indicated that I was a fellow “man of the sea”, it must have been a political situation internally at the ALBC which prevented not only my immediate admission to the organization but my swift ascension to leadership.  I congratulate you and your vision to bring me in to elicit a New Era of Freedom & Change at the club.

  I had reviewed your rules on the website and have a couple of quick questions.  In regards to the No Alcohol policy, is this a firm policy or more of a “nod and a wink” type regulation?  Most of the kayak men I know that are worth their salt like to take a good tug from the rum bottle now and again.  Who amongst us has not paddled out to the horizon line with a British Naval Rum in hand screaming incoherently?   What could be more satisfying after an afternoon of paddling with your harpoon in this, the Greatest Of Lakes, and then enjoying some cold ales?  I have a distinct vision of life in the Avon Lake Boat Club which includes me wandering around at sunset with a couple of cold ones with my fellow compatriots swapping tales of high seas adventure. 

  This is where my second question comes in.  Please note, not all of my personal associates are as active in the outlaw kayaking scene as I am, and are in a more complimentary role within my social circle shall we say.  We travel in a rather tight pack and they would need to fit in to life at the Avon Lake Boat Club as they would be there quite often.  I want to make sure they fit in.  I have taken the initiative and reached out to several of them to see if they would be comfortable in wearing nautical gear while on club grounds, and the response so far seems “good” to “very good”.  In fact, my associate Mr. Leo P. Love has let me know that he believes he can assemble a World War I era evening dress uniform to wear at the club whenever he is there loitering.  Frankly, I think this will add great character and color to the facility.  His knowledge of nautical terms is limited, but I think we will be able to create a laminated card with buzzwords and terms for him to use until he gets more comfortable mingling with other members.  With all these obvious benefits of having “my people” at the facility, will there be an issue having a blend of non-members within club events and facilities?

  Lastly, will I be able to have an honorary title of some kind?  My thoughts are we could create a title like “Kayak Admiral” that would be a good fit.  I would also construct a uniform to wear at all club events which I think would immediately grant the aura of authority and make the members comfortable right out of the gate.  I wouldn’t want any area of actual responsibility, but I could keep the members with kayaks in line if necessary.  As Kayak Admiral, it seems a reasonable expectation.  I would be tough, but fair.

  Let me know about these points when you have the opportunity.  There are a number of clubs in conversation with me right now.  I am weighing my options for the 2017 season and a triumphant return to Avon Lake is of interest.


At February 21, 2017 at 7:02:00 AM EST , Blogger Frank said...

I'm curiousabout this rooster they have.

At February 21, 2017 at 8:54:00 AM EST , Blogger Greg Miller said...

It's one of the big selling points of the club.

At February 21, 2017 at 3:07:00 PM EST , Blogger Not the Kook said...

Facial hair is always a good addition to any boating club. Leo would help with this category. WWYC has social members too, especially social drinking.

whale on!

At February 21, 2017 at 3:42:00 PM EST , Blogger Greg Miller said...

Based on what the ALBC website looks like, it might not be the best match for my seafaring lifestyle.


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