Nurse the Hate: Hate Brandon and NFL Week 11

 

 

There’s a house about five minutes from me that is proudly flying a “Let’s Go Brandon” flag.  I wasn’t surprised as this flag replaced their “Trump Train” flag, the bumper sticker on the pickup truck in the driveway advocating an “Audit 2020” and a Thin Blue Line flag.  When I see that Thin Blue Line flag, I generally assume that unless the person is somehow tied to law enforcement, they are biding their time waiting for what seems to be our inevitable slide into authoritarianism.  If you wear a goatee, Oakley sunglasses on the brim of your ballcap, and drive an enormous pickup truck, do you get a Thin Blue Line flag free, or do you get the flag when you sign up at a secret location to be part of future terror squads?  Asking for a friend…   

 

The trio of messages this house sends out, what I refer to as “The Bad Vibe Bungalow”, are conflicted.  They are suggesting that they want “law and order”, yet at the same time want teenage vigilantes with assault weapons patrolling the streets.  Really, isn’t the “law and order” just the sell line on “white power”?  Let's talk about that other Brandon.  The fact that Brandon Rittenhouse got acquitted wasn’t shocking.  I expected it.  Shit, that kid will probably get elected to Congress in a few years despite being by all appearances a total moron.  There was no way that part of the country was going to convict someone 100% guilty of a crime that didn’t conform to the way they see the world.  “Them protesters had it coming!”

 

To review, a teenager drove across state lines with an assault weapon he bought illegally to go to a riot.  He said he was going “to help”, and by “help” I think we all know that he meant “hopefully get to use this cool gun like I do in my favorite video games”.  When he got there, it turned out that a riot was more unpredictable than what he had seen on TV.  He got in trouble, so he shot a few people and killed two of them.  The defense was that he was in fear for his life because he was worried that he might get shot with the gun he brought to a riot.  Not guilty.  Hmmm.

 

Now I would suggest the verdict would have been very different if we change a few details.  A group of Trump Supporters do one of those pickup truck flag parades.  A black kid is concerned about his safety and walks around the event with an assault rifle.  Some people from the crowd start moving towards him and one of them takes a whack at the kid with a Trump sign.  The kid freaks out and shoots three of the Trumpers.  That kid would have been shot dead within three minutes of that incident, but let’s say he somehow made it to trial.  What odds you want to give that kid on acquittal?  I’d say his odds would be much less than the Jets winning this Sunday.

 

Look, our country is really fucked up.  The good news is the nation isn’t as fucked up as the New York Jets.  The Jets had the #2 pick in the draft and decided to draft a little fella from Utah to play QB.  That hasn’t worked out too well.  In fact, Zach Wilson appears to be ill-suited to play QB in the NFL, a fact which the always communicative New York fans are ready to pipe in on.  When Wilson got hurt, they had to start Mike White, who promptly went out and looked better than the kid the organization had planted a flag around.  Uh oh.  If the Jets missed on that #2 high profile QB pick, a lot of people are going to lose their jobs.

 

This week the Jets are at home against the Dolphins, a fairly crappy team themselves.  I see this as a game of motivation.  The Dolphins need a win.  Their backs are against the wall.  The coach needs a strong finish to keep his gig.  They are 3-7 after almost making the Playoffs last season.  However, they have won their last two and just beat the mighty Ravens on a Thursday, giving them extra time to prepare for the Jets.  Ah, the Jets…

 

The Jets are 2-7, have given up a record amount of points in the last three games, and just got pasted by the Bills.  Though it seems like Wilson is healthy enough to play, they are opting instead to start Joe Flacco.  “Joe Flacco?  Why, I didn’t know he was a Jet!”  Flacco has been a Jet for a couple weeks.  He has been a below average QB for a half decade.  Why the hell would they start Flacco, new to the system, new to the team, when they could start a high variance White or the prized rookie?  Because they don’t want the boos at home to rattle the kid, or good play from White to point out how badly they missed on Wilson.  They have decided to throw Flacco out there as a patsy, where his poor performance won’t ding anyone upstairs.  I think the Jets are tanking this game, and I bet the Jets locker room does too.  Miami -3.

 

I like to bet on NFL teams a week after they get humiliated.  ALL of these teams are filled with alpha male super competitive athletes.  They DO NOT like to look bad.  The Browns got totally torched last week by New England.  They did EVERYTHING wrong and lost 45-7 in a game that was supposed to be a toss up.  All week they have heard about how shitty they were.  Enter the Detroit Lions off an overtime tie to the Pittsburgh Steelers, the overtime period maybe the worst professional football I have seen since the 0-16 Browns.  Even better is the fact that the Lions are starting Tim Boyle at QB, whose last start came on an 80 yard preseason field against the Raiders.  Before that he played at Eastern Kentucky where he threw for 11 TDs and 13 INTS.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I have no idea why he is on an NFL roster. 

 

Tim Boyle must “always have his head in the playbook” or “have a great attitude”, because he has never been good at football as an adult.  How in God’s name is he in the league?  There is nothing in his past that suggests he should have even had the opportunity to try and make a roster, much less start a game.  I am betting that the Browns defense “will create opportunities” which is shorthand for “demonstrate why a lackluster Eastern Kentucky QB is going to get killed”.  I have no idea how the Lions will score when they can’t score with Goff (who sucks too).  I think the Browns will run, run, run and play conservatively to win.  I’m counting on Boyle to give me this cover.  Browns -12.

 

Season Record:  12-20