Nurse the Hate: The Great Band In The Sky

 

A couple of musicians I played a number of shows with died recently.  I wasn't best friends with them, but we certainly knew each other and were friendly.  Dallas Good, the magnificent guitar player and songwriter from The Sadies died at 48.  Johnny Rebel, the undisputed King of Columbus rockabilly, died about a week later.  The way we deal with these passings in society now is via social media posts.  Pressing a frowny face emoji signals the acknowledgment of grief.  These things are always awkward anyway, and when it is someone that dies that you think of as being part of the forever young world of rock music, it makes it even more awkward.  I am not sure why, but there is always someone at these times when a musician death happens that will remark, "I'll tell you this... Heaven just got another great guitar player.  I'll bet (insert name of musician) is jamming right now with Jerry Garcia, Jimi Hendrix and John Entwistle.  What a band there is up there right now."  

A couple of things...  Let's just get past the tricky concept of afterlife and the idea that your buddy is now flying around with wings and a vintage guitar.  For the sake of argument, let's just say that is a totally accurate representation of what happens.  Jerry has a halo and it isn't weird at all.  However, that band would be terrible.  I think the 1970s proved that the concept of "supergroups" was terribly flawed and produced self-indulgent boring music.  Do you really want to hear Jerry Garcia noodling around while Hendrix is hitting some distortion as Entwistle overplays across the whole thing?  All you need now is Ginger Baker stepping all over everyone with some bombastic drum roll across a 17 piece kit.  That's not heaven.  That's hell.

As I thought about "The Great Band In The Sky" idea, another thing that hit me was if these guys didn't play together when they were alive, what would make you think that they would now?  Sure, maybe because of people's lifespan Mozart never got the chance to get a project going with Jaco Pastorious.  Point taken.  Still, it's not like Hendrix/Garcia/Entwistle couldn't have got something going at Monterey.  And if we suggest that only stars play together in these "Great Bands In The Sky", doesn't that suggest a class system like we have here on Earth?  If Garcia/Hendrix/Baker are jamming and hanging out, that means Pigpen/Noel Redding/Ric Grech are just sort of trying to get something going across town that no one is interested in?  Does that mean when I die I am going to have to try to get a band going with Richard "Snakehips" Dudanski of the 101ers?  Or is he still alive?  I picture it as soon as you start get some traction, someone else dies and then you lose your bass player.  "Hey Greg, it's been fun jamming but I don't know if you heard but Pat Fish died last week and just got up here.  I used to play with him in the Jazz Butcher, so..."  

So now you're stuck in eternity listening to these "supergroups" play the only songs they all know like "Sweet Home Chicago" and "Johnny B. Goode", and you know they all turn into "jams" where it is a 17 minute mess where the guitar players are taking turns trying to one up each other and boring the shit out of everyone else.  I'm sorry, but I don't want to have to hear Johnny Thunders try to get Sid Vicious to play the right notes on "Summertime Blues".  I picture myself walking over to a bored looking Johnny and him saying "this sucks man".  

This idea of "The Great Band In The Sky" just means that everyone else has to open for Mozart and Louis Armstrong and Miles Davis.  Who the hell is going to explain to Aretha Franklin that she isn't headlining?  Howlin Wolf isn't going on first, I'll tell you that.  Michael Jackson is going to be cool with going on third on a 17 band bill?  Prince is just happy to be there?  This whole thing sounds like a clusterfuck.  Oh well.  I'll just have to figure it out when I get there myself.  Maybe I can jam with Johnny and Dallas.  That would be fun.