Nurse the Hate: Three Valuable Possessions and the Jets! Jets! Jets!

 

When the weather is unusually warm, it doesn't seem like Christmas.  Outdoor lights seem cheap.  The decorations seem ridiculous.  It is like the population is trying to will itself into a Hallmark TV special.  Admittedly, no one wants to watch "A Very Depressing Gray and Rainy Cleveland Christmas", so I get the snowman motif.  Powdery snow is more fun than a muddy puddle.  Thanks to "climate change" or as can be more accurately referred to as "it doesn't snow here like it did ten years ago", I don't even know where my snow shovel is.  I haven't started my snow blower in a half decade.  We are like those Florida houses with plastic Santa sleds but ours catch dead leaves instead of palmetto fronds.  Still, you want to celebrate the holidays in some way.

The holidays bring out many trophy bottles of wine in my various tasting circles.  I get psyched to try all these wines and write quick useful notes.  I spend more time than you would imagine diligently writing tasting notes even in the most mundane circumstances.  For example, I wrote a tasting note on a "Wine of France" which was classified as a "white wine" on the label on the airline cart of the London to Washington DC leg.  (Simple apple/citrus fruit with an almost remarkable lack of finish... the premature ejaculation in the chardonnay world).  Here's a quick wine tip for when you are in the liquor store and you don't know what to decide on as you stare at the 10,000 wine options.  Generally, the more specific the location of the grapes, the better the wine.  Wine labels try to trick you into thinking they are fancy with photos of grand chateau and names like "Rothington Estates" or "Old Vines Special Reserve".  That's a trick to get your money.  When you look at the smaller print it will say something large scale like "California" or "Central Coast".  It's like if I sold you a house and told you it was in "Ohio".  That means it might be the charming cottage next to the gurgling Chagrin River or more likely in Youngstown next to the railroad tracks by the abandoned house where the addicts shoot up.  They're both "Ohio".  You want very specific info, ideally the vineyard.  X vineyard in Y Village in Z approved wine area.  That was about two years of wine education distilled into the three sentences normal people need to know.  You're welcome.  

A friend of mine brought her prized 2000 Cannubi Boschis Barolo (vineyard/village/region, see?).  "This is probably my third most valuable possession behind my dog and my vespa."  I instantly got an image of her on her Vespa fleeing a house fire cradling her dog while clasping the Barolo, though a much safer option would be a sidecar on the Vespa.  Maybe get the dog some goggles, or "doggles" as I believe they are called.  Regardless, she brought this old Italian wine to the group to share, which is a heckuva nice gesture.  Anyone that would share their third most valuable possession is good people.  We waited until the last wine to open it up, so sure that we would have the splendor of aged Barolo from the best vineyard of all.  She took out the cork, poured the wine and gave it a sniff.  It was corked.  

To discover your third most valuable possession is in fact without value is horribly depressing.  Making matters worse, she had to do so in a public setting, much like the Jaguars do each Sunday with Trevor Lawrence.  Lawrence was the "can't miss" #1 pick of the draft, a player no one debated as being worthy of building a franchise around.  Here we are on Christmas, and he hasn't thrown a touchdown since Halloween.  He has been so bad, that even when they ran the toxic Urban Myer out of town, he still went out and lost to a horrible Texans team last week.  The Jags are so bad, that I am taking the Jets today to beat them.  Willingly betting on the Jets is normally a cry for help, but the Jags have given up, especially after losing convincingly to the Texans last week.  Meanwhile I think the Jets, who continue to play hard, have this game circled on their schedule as "possible win".  I'll take the Jets -2.5 at home.   

I watched the Steelers beat the Titans last week after being completely outplayed.  They are sort of like the flipside of the Browns, a team that can always find a way to lose despite clear advantages.  The Chiefs have had covid rip through the team, and as soon as I saw Kelce and Hill out, the Steelers came on my radar.  Pittsburgh is getting 10.5 points today, a line I normally associate with teams like the Giants and Texans.  The Steelers are a prideful team still in the mix for a playoff berth despite clearly being rebuilding on the fly.  I just need them to do what they do, sorta hang around in the game keeping it close and hoping to make a big defensive play late.  Hill is back, but hopefully is nice and sick.  (A little Xmas cheer for you) Pittsburgh +10.5

The Vikings are a team that are perceived to be really bad.  They lost every close game in the beginning of the season, so The Public thinks of them as being shitty.  Meanwhile the Rams are the reverse.  They are a flashy team with all kinds of fantasy football big names on the roster.  The Public loves the Rams, but I'm not sure why.  The Rams don't play well against "tough" teams, which is exactly what the Vikings are.  The Vikings are going to punch you in the face and try to get Dalvin Cook going.  They throw the occasional pass to their outstanding receivers, and play solid defense.  I like that matchup.  Making matters even better, the Rams played on Tuesday, making this a short week for them (on Xmas no less!).  Now they fly three time zones over to play at 1pm, a spot where Kirt Cousins thrives AND you get points with Minnesota.  This is a bad spot for the Rams.  I love the Vikings to win today, but I'm taking it Minnesota +3.5.   

Season Record:  25-28