Sunday, January 29, 2023

Nurse the Hate: NFL Championship Sunday

 


It is said that all children eventually become their parents.  I have seen the signs in myself, the evidence stacking up in the case against me.  I have now decided to ignore almost all popular culture and as a result become the confused guy that asks "Who's that?" when seeing celebrity endorsements.  Technological advances have not so much passed me by as much as I have willingly ignored them.  My iPhone has hundreds of features that not only do I not know how to use, but I have no interest in learning.  In that sense I am the same man my father was as he willfully refused to learn how his cable box worked and resigned himself to the one station he somehow locked his TV into.  He did, as a result, become disturbingly knowledgable about the station's morning news hosts, Katie and Dan, so much so that he used their first names as if they were personal friends.  

It should be noted that this was a man that ran a sales office and routinely used various reporting software, so the skill set existed to master the cable TV.  I didn't understand why he just couldn't get it.  It is only lately that I understand that he had edged into the state of being, the "giving zero fucks" zone that comes either from age or experience.  It is a sense of freedom when you lose the urgency to keep up with pop culture, drive the right car, wear the right clothes, and go to the hot new restaurant.  So as I acknowledge that I don't know the difference between Lizzo and Megan Thee Stallion, I also must come clean that despite having a device with me at all times that I can immediately access this information, I won't because I don't care.

Now this disengagement from entertainment not targeted to me is not proof that I have moved into the "Giving Zero Fucks" zone.  Honestly, I haven't known who any of the Grammy nominated music stars are for decades.  No, I think when I realized I had made a permanent shift was this week when I went outside to retrieve my wayward basset hound Montgomery in the morning snow wearing nothing but my underwear and boots.  Let's be clear.  I moved to a new house in November, so as everyone has hibernated in their homes with the winter, I haven't met anyone.  I have seen cars shuttle past, and even offered the neighborly wave, but there has been no contact.  Yet, when faced with the choice of walking upstairs to get appropriate clothes to walk down the street OR just putting my boots on that were by the door, I did not hesitate.  Do I think that any of the people that live near me were concerned to see a half naked man in boots in the snow carrying a basset hound over his shoulder?  Probably.  Will this brand me at best an "eccentric" or at worst "a dangerous degenerate"?  Perhaps.  The bottom line is that like the Lizzo situation or lack of interest in getting the latest phone upgrade, it's that I just don't care.

It's that same sense of giving zero fucks that I like about Joe Burrow.  Sure, he is focused on winning and is serious about playing well, but I like the fact he wears outrageous outfits for fun and handles his TV interviews like it's a joke (which it is).  The dude is unflappable.  If I am trending to giving zero fucks, he is well beyond that to a Zero Fuck Zen I could only pray to achieve.  There's something about this guy that is going to carry the Bengals to a win today over Kansas City.  In a league where everyone is afraid to play the Chiefs, the Bengals have beaten them in high leverage situations the last two times.  I think they do it again.

I don't know what the story is on Mahomes ankle.  When he got hurt, it seemed like the classic "high ankle sprain", that new term that indicates a player is out for a month to six weeks.  He played on one leg on the fourth quarter, but now all reports are that he's skipping around out on the practice field.  I don't know what kind of goo goo juice they shot in that leg, but I need some of that.  It must be some sort of super fetus gorilla adrenalin stuff that the Germans developed for Hitler when the Russians were knocking at the door in Berlin.  How else can you explain it?  Still, super fetus gorilla adrenalin or not, that ankle is going to limit Mahomes ability to move out of the pocket.  That gives the Bengals an edge in a razor thin game.  I bet this earlier in the week at Bengals pick em.

I don't have a strong feeling on the Philadelphia v SF game.  I think it's asking a lot of Purdy to go into Philly and win the NFC Championship game when two months ago you were concerned about how you could stay in the league.  I am confident that the Philadelphia fans started drinking immediately after whipping the Giants last weekend and are now in a full fledged rabid slobber, which also won't help the 49ers.  However, that 49er defense is the best in the league, and the best defense tends to find ways to win these late playoff games.These have been the unquestioned best teams in the NFC.  I think Philadelphia finds a way to win at home, but I'm not tossing any money at it.

Season Record:  40-20-1

Saturday, January 21, 2023

Nurse the Hate: A Story About Bristol TN and the NFL Divisional Round



 The Whiskey Daredevils have a new record coming out in a couple of weeks.  I really miss band's releases being limited to physical forms.  I prefer the idea of being invested enough to have to go from Point A to Point B and take the product to a register.  Going through the trouble to create and record a record doesn't seem worth the trouble when the end result is hoping someone will click on your file.  "People are digging our new record.  We got lots of clicks." doesn't really resonate the same way as seeing your LP in people's record collection.  Thus, we are making vinyl and CDs.  I understand that cassettes have made a comeback, but I'll be damned if I have to spend the rest of my life figuring out where to store an unsold crate of Whiskey Daredevils cassettes.  This is not to say that I haven't made mistakes like ordering 1000 cassettes in the past.

Here's an example.  I booked a show for us one time in Bristol Tennessee.  In the late 1990s, the entire country seemed to buy into the idea that NASCAR was going to be the next major US sport.  I can't tell you how many times the Cowslingers couldn't find a hotel room in the South because some NASCAR race was going on and every room was booked in a 100 mile radius of the track.  There was a race weekend coming up in Bristol, one of the iconic tracks, and a club there had been booking bands like us.  I figured it would be a coup playing the club as a hundred thousand race fans jammed the streets of tiny Bristol looking for action the night before the race.  Even though I knew the NASCAR fans wouldn't understand for the most part what we were doing, we'd be able to convert a few of them and probably sell some records and CDs.

When we pulled into town, it was oddly quiet.  We were able to park right in front of the club which appeared to be in an ideal section of the small town.  It was probably just early.  Nothing to worry about.  We loaded in and the club had this really rotund guy with a baseball cap as the sound man.  His name was, of course, Tiny.  Tiny had that affliction that happens to someone that does sound too long, becoming completely burned out and incapable of any emotional attachment to anything.  It made no difference to Tiny if the room was packed or empty, or if he liked or hated the band.  He no longer cared about music at all.  This was just a place for him to make some money and get snacks.  When I asked him if he thought it would be a good night, he just grunted. 

It became evident as the evening crept on that the gig would be a disaster.  I remember asking the bartender about when the race fans would all descend like locusts into the nightlife of downtown Bristol.  "Oh, everyone just camps out by the track.  It'll be pretty quiet downtown.".  This was a major understatement.  Downtown looked like one of those zombie movies where everyone is gone and this ghostly quiet has settled over everything.  You could hear the traffic light go "click" when it went from red to green.  There was nothing to do but accept our fate.

I have no recollection of the set.  I do remember afterwards sitting at a table nursing a beer.  The bar was almost totally empty except for a couple stragglers and a woman that as soon as you spotted her your brain sent you an alarm of "She's crazy".  As all crazy people are attracted to Leo like a moths to a flame, she was smoking cigarettes with him and engaged in a very animated conversation that instantly filled me with suspicion of "she's off her meds".  Leo walked her over to the table where I was sitting and handed her off to me like passing a parrot from one forearm to the other.  She stared at me and told me her name and without missing a beat said, "I had an abortion today." with an odd smile. 

Now, wherever you stand on the abortion debate, I think we can all agree that this was pretty fucked up behavior.  I don't know where you go in conversation next.  The options are essentially saying "I'm sorry", inquiring about the particulars of the procedure, or making a slight grimace face and nodding your head as a suggestion of understanding with the implication of "That's tough".  That's what I went with in this case as I invented a reason to extradite myself from the situation.  I wish I had the technique I saw Sugar use on a drunken lunatic once when she said "I'm going to go stand over here now." and just walk away.

We loaded up the van as quickly as we could.  The sense of driving away from a debacle of a gig is like pulling away in a getaway car.  Something happened back there, but with each passing mile the memory becomes less personal and more conceptual.  We careened down the highway towards Atlanta, hoping to find a hotel two hours away from Bristol.  It is amazing how fast something goes from a depressing incident to something vague.  I think that's what is going on with the Bills v Bengals game this weekend.  A few weeks ago a guy almost died on the field when Buffalo and Cincinnati played.  Anyone with a microphone made sure to tell us that NOTHING is more important than that young man's well being.  A little time passes and now it's just a vague event that happened.  The Bills players will wear the number of the player that almost died.  I'm sure he will make an appearance on the field waving to the crowd.  The TV will cut to Bills fans waving signs showing support for the cause, whatever that has morphed into now.  That's the way it goes after things go bad.  You revert back to your version of an orderly existence.  We played the next show with the hope the next day would be better.  The NFL guys move onto the next game.  We all do what we do.       

So what about that Bills v Bengals game?  The Cincinnati Bengals have three offensive lineman out.  That's too much to overcome.  I love Joe Burrow, and if anyone can pull a rabbit out of a hat, it's that guy.  But to expect Burrow to dink and dunk his way past Buffalo seems like asking for too much.  (Side note... I almost said "a big ask" as somehow the phrase "ask" has crept into my work culture.  Out of nowhere, all these middle managers have been saying "My ask on this is..." which leads me to believe that this phrase has somehow been inserted into whatever nefarious webinar training retreat re-education seminars that are going on across the country.  Be on the lookout for this as if it slips into your vocabulary you will suddenly sound like a Regional Director of Functions who spends his/her weekend combing the aisles of Lowes looking for a trustworthy replacement kitchen faucet to be followed by a nice lunch of pre-made salad at Applebee's.  Well, that's my ask anyway.  Dammit.)

This reminds me of the Super Bowl where the Chiefs rolled in down three lineman and got killed by Tampa.  If this was the Bengals team of a month ago, I'm all over Cincinnati.  But this is the current Bengals team we are talking about, the ones that should have lost to the Ravens.  It feels like Buffalo wants to shoot themselves in the foot somewhere along what was their pre-ordained path to the Super Bowl, but I don't think it will be at home to a shorthanded Bengals team.  We all want that Buffalo v Kansas City rematch.  Let's hope the refs keep it fair out there, you know what I mean?  Look for plenty of Cincinnati holding calls.  Buffalo -5.5

I am getting on Kansas City.  The Chiefs have been so good for so long, they just don't inspire much excitement.  They went 14-3, yet everyone is talking about Jacksonville.  Kansas City just doesn't lose very often.  While we can all appreciate that Trevor Lawrence led that 27 point comeback, let's also remember that he also tossed four (4) interceptions in the first half.  Jacksonville is a legit team, which makes one appreciate how horrible Urban Myer was as a coach and probably as a human being for them to do this abrupt of an about face in one year.  However, a 14-3 Kansas City will get it done at home coming off a bye.  Even people that don't follow football know how good Andy Reid is off a bye week.  I don't love them to cover the spread, so I am going to tease down a couple favorites in spreads that have clearly been engineered to trick me into doing so.  I can't resist though.   

Yes, I am betting on the Eagles as well.  The Eagles and Giants feel like teams with opposite momentums that are meeting at the right time for NY and the wrong time for Philly.  The Giants are winning games with outstanding play from Daniel Jones, tough running and stingy defense.  The Giants slipped by a Minnesota team that the entire gambling community screamed about being terrible all season as they kept putting up "Ws" week after week.  The recency bias of getting excited about Daniel Jones best game of his career makes me want to forget about how Philadelphia has been the class of the NFC all season.  I am going to believe that the Eagles are able to shoot enough goo goo juice into Jalen Hurts to allow him to play close enough to his level all season.  The game is in Prime, which means the Philly fans will have been drinking for 16 hours by the time the ball is kicked off.  I think Philadelphia wins and 117 people in the stands get arrested.  This is the other leg of my Doomed Teaser.  Kansas City -2.5/Philadelphia -1.5  

Season Record:  39-19-1 

Sunday, January 15, 2023

Nurse the Hate: How TV Works and Wild Card Weekend Day 2

 


I have worked in television for 17 years.  During this time TV has radically changed and yet stayed stoically the same.  Each year ABC would have an event called "an upfront" where they would preview their prime programming lineup in an attempt to build enthusiasm amongst the advertising community.  The network would air something called a "sizzle reel" which is a promo trailer for the shows.  During my time I have seen a zillion shows pitched, and have instantly been able to spot shows that were going to be cancelled in a few weeks.  As there are only six TV shows (cop show, doctor show, wisecracking sitcom, family drama, reality show, game show), the same basic plot lines get regurgitated over and over.  By my third year at the station, I stopped paying attention to what they shows were entirely as I could provide a reasonable synopsis on the show by title alone.   

The problem with TV now is that there are a million platforms/channels/apps all trying to fill up with "content".  Even when there used to be only three Networks, there were only four good shows going at any one time.  Now there is an avalanche of shows, all basically the same, all screaming for attention.  I can't tell you how many times someone has told me about a show I've never heard of on a network I'm vaguely familiar with that I have no intention of ever searching for to watch.  Yet, I found myself searching for something to fall asleep to the other morning and hoped the incessantly promoed Season Three of Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan!!! would wash over me painlessly.

When your dog wakes you up at 415am because he has to take a leak because he sleeps about 22 hours a day and doesn't cling to a schedule of any kind, you're up too.  I sprawled out on the couch hoping the exciting Season Three of Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan!!! would act like a tranquilizer.  Unfortunately I immediately got annoyed by the stereotypical plot details.  To get a job as a script writer for one of these government agent/cop shows, there must be a pledge to sign where you have to stick with the cliches.  For example, why in these shows is the boss always a pointlessly confrontational prick?  It doesn't matter if it's a police chief, ship captain, Colonel or department head.  When the lead actor comes on with what appears to be a simple job related duty, the authority figure does whatever he has to so as to make the exchange unpleasant.  The agent tells the boss "Hey, we got this tip that the bad guys are trying to do something bad." that is always met with "Well smart guy, I'm not going to have you cowboy around out there so don't even tell me this key information and get out of my sight!".  When the lead actor has to take a ship to conduct his job, the captain greets him as he comes aboard with "You know you're a pain in my ass.  I will get you to where you need to go Fly Boy, but when I drop you off I ain't coming back to pull your ass out of the fire!".  Then the lead actor just brushes it off like it's status quo and says something like "Appreciate the lift.".  

Maybe this is an occupational reality I just don't understand.  Maybe at all these jobs when you walk through the door, you're instantly greeted with "Don't give me any of your shit!".  I just might have been blissfully unaware.  I might embrace that behavior for a week and just see what happens.  I will just leap down anyone's throat when they make the most simple conversation.  When I walk into a Starbucks and the person at the register asks "How can I help you?", I'm coming in hard with "Don't give me any of that flower talk Missy.  We all have a job to do and right now you're a pain in my ass!  Coffee!  Black!  And get back to work!".  After that maybe I shuffle some papers and storm over to the waiting area.  There's a pretty good chance someone will spot me and think, "I bet that guy is a General or Police Captain.".  Maybe I get a job offer to become a police captain.  Or, even better, maybe I get "discovered" and get a big juicy role in Season Four of Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan!!!!.

Change is hard.  Maybe I'll just stick to what I know, which at this moment appears to be NFL Football.  As I discussed yesterday, I think Buffalo will kick the shit out of Miami.  Miami is in a bad spot in that Skylar Thompson is probably not likely to waltz into Buffalo and stare down the Bills.  Miami can't start Tua at QB, because, let's be honest, Tua should stop playing football because he's probably suffered a stunning amount of brain damage already.  The Bills will probably cover 14, but I'm not touching that as I'm on record as saying the teaser was the way to go there.  I'm also feeling good about the second leg of my SF teaser on the Cincinnati -1.5.   The Ravens have a great defense, but unless they get a bunch of turnovers, I don't see how they score enough to win.  

I'm going to take a small flier on the Giants +3 today.  Minnesota is tough at home, but they just have the stench of a loser.  Minnesota hasn't covered four of their last five, the only cover a week 17 win over a tanking Bears.  Cousins is well documented as not playing nearly as well when not in a 1pm EST start time, and this game goes off at 430p.  He's got some weird OCD routine thing where he likes playing at 1.  I don't understand it, but I'm aware of it.  The Giants are 13-4 ATS this year.  They are an unsexy team that grinds and hangs around in games.  This feels like a FG game to me, so I'll take the three points just so I have an interest in this game as opposed to Season Three of Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan!!!  Giants +3 

Season Record 37-19-1

Saturday, January 14, 2023

Nurse the Hate: Wild Card Weekend Day 1 and Another Wasted MLK Weekend



Wild Card weekend being on a three day weekend is perhaps the greatest gift January could ever provide.  Of course, I always forget about MLK Day and have never been able to take advantage of the holiday in any travel savvy way.  This year I was supposed to be coming back from Austria from a wine conference.  That would have been a nice surprise to come back on Sunday with a day to re-set my clock as opposed to my normal immediate re-entry into work where I struggle to remember what it is I do and why it matters.  Instead of being in Austria, I instead was pummeled in my social media feed with envy inducing photos from the seminar.  For example, on the day the Cheval Blanc representatives swung by with six vintages, each of which cost about as much as a hot tub, I think I had a $16 Chianti in my glass. Ouch.  

No matter.  We trudge on.  In January in NE Ohio, you can wrap your head around the Neil Young lyric that "life goes on after the thrill of living is gone".  It will be months until I will need to locate my sunglasses.  It is pointless to wash a car until late Spring.  Grey clouds, 70% chance of rain, and temperatures now hovering between "sleet" and "ice pellet".  The vet just called for me to pick up the ashes of my basset.  It's not a great time.  I ask you, what else is there except irresponsible gambling on NFL Playoff football?   

This is the last week where there are obvious mismatches.  Tampa, Seattle and Miami have no business being in the Playoffs.  The question is not IF they will get eliminated from the Playoffs.  It is can they COVER?  I'll get into the rest of the weekend's games tomorrow, but for today that answer is "probably not".  I'm not going to pin all my hopes on SF rookie QB Brock Purdy who was the last man drafted to cover though.  The kid has played great though.  San Francisco should easily handle a fast fading Seattle team.  With a spread that I got into at SF -9.5, I did two things.  I teased SF to -2.5 and comboed that up with the Bengals at -1.5.  It is incomprehensible to me that those two teams will lose at home.  Baltimore is starting a third string undrafted rookie for fuck's sake.  Maybe the Baltimore defense will allow them to hang around, but they ain't winning.  Give me Joe Burrow all day long.  If that makes you queasy, I would also tie Buffalo in at -3.5 as it's hard to figure out how Miami with Skylar Thompson can go into Buffalo and hang around.  I'm going SF -2.5/Cincinnati -1.5 and San Francisco money line at -550 as I think Seattle wins that game 1 out of 10 times at best.

I am taking a position on Jacksonville against the Chargers.  I don't see any difference in these two teams right now except for the fact that the Chargers coach is a dope.  Staley gets Bosa hurt and Williams a fractured back playing in a totally meaningless game on a short week.  The Chargers played Sunday at 4p in Denver.  Jacksonville played last Saturday.  That an extra 1.5 days of rest, no travel, and no dipshit head coach for Jacksonville AND I'm getting 2.5 points.  Yes, I am concerned about hitching my wagon to Trevor Lawrence, a guy that seems as interested in football as Leo.  However, I think they have enough to win as the Chargers are an organization that finds a way... to lose.  Jacksonville +2.5   


Sunday, January 8, 2023

Nurse the Hate: My Basset Hound Ryver and NFL Final Week



My basset hound Ryver died on Tuesday.  She was, in many way, the heartbeat of the household.  Ryver was a dog that was fully in favor of the pandemic and ensuing lockdown as it allowed her to spend all of her time supervising my affairs.  Where I went, Ryver went.  She was my constant companion.  I know everyone has dogs, and of course, are very attached to their dogs.  I certainly had a relationship with Ryver that veered into "Crazy Dog Lady" territory.  Instead of that annoying baby talk, I would talk to her like the deadbeat roommate she was.  The basset eavesdropped on all my conversations anyway.  Her day was spent gleaning if something beneficial to her was in the air and hatching schemes to get what she wanted.  It's hard to explain if you don't know the breed.  The basset hound is a quirky animal that is more like an odd relative that moves in as opposed to a dog.  Ryver was also very intelligent, so she moved that needle even further away from "dog" into "opinionated freeloader".  It's a tough loss.  Logically, I knew she was coming towards the end, but it didn't make it any easier to accept.  

Ryver was a tough dog.  Her list of ailments included, and were not limited to, congestive heart failure, horribly arthritic back and hip, thyroid deficiency, a wildly uncontrollable ear infection, a continual set of burst, infected and then healing sebaceous cysts, an abdominal tumor the size of a grapefruit, brutal allergies, and dry eye.  Her medicines were kept in a zip up bag I referred to as "the nuclear football", as it was inadvisable to go anywhere without the vast array of medications needed to keep the dog on the rails.  Towards the end, she took nine (9) pills daily and four (4) sets of drops.  If I told you how much money was spent on vets and medicines, your jaw would drop open in amazement.  It is cheaper to keep an antique European sports car on the road.  The amount of time it took to care for this basset was roughly four hours a day just for basic care.  Yet, despite all of this, she gave me much more than I provided her.

I came home one day after work a few years ago, and she didn't trot over to greet me with her normal deep urgent barks.  Instead she sat across the room barking at me insistently.  It was odd behavior.  When I went over to her urging her to come outside, she just barked.  I soon discovered that she couldn't move her back left leg, or feel anything on her back leg.  I rushed her to a vet hospital an hour away after my local vet stared at me with a "I don't know what the hell to do here" look.  After a series of scans, the specialist said "Look at this X-ray.  She has so much arthritis and various potential problem points, I have no idea which is causing this.  I would do more harm than good with any procedure."  The sage medical advice was this; take her home and see if she gets better.  That was it, after thousands of dollars of scans and tests.  

I walked her for weeks with a harness to support her body weight so she could go outside and do her business.  Then one day, she unsteadily walked down the driveway.  The next day she made it a few houses down the block.  She was walking like a drunken sailor, but she was walking.  Soon she was doing her beloved walks in the woods, always with a defiant attitude that gave no indication she knew or cared about how flimsy and weak she might have been.  That dog would fight through any adversity and never let you know she was in discomfort.  She was ridiculous and proud at the same time.  To not hear the thump of her tail on the carpet when I called her name, or the clicking of her nails on the kitchen floor makes the house seem quiet and empty.  The force of that dog's personality was palpable.  I miss her so much, and feel the burden of somehow failing her.  Her brother Montgomery is lost without her.  I'm worried his health will spiral down now as he sinks further into his depression.  It's been a bad start to the year.  

I have been trying to keep my mind busy with breaking down these football games in the NFL's final week.  I think there are some, shall we say "opportunities".  Let's take this Giants v Philadelphia game.  The Giants are getting 16.5 points against the Eagles.  The expectation is the Giants don't need the game and will empty their bench while Philadelphia will wax the Giants to keep the #1 seed.  Allow me to remind you of a game a few years ago when the Giants would have gone to the playoffs if the Eagles had beaten the Redskins on MNF.  The Eagles, clearly the better team, not only rested their players but started their third string quarterback in an appalling tank of a loss.  The Giants players took to Twitter calling out the Eagles for this weak ass effort.  The Giants organization took the position that tanking a game like that wasn't reflective of how they approached the game. In fact, Coughlin years earlier took the undefeated Patriots to the wire in the final week in an otherwise meaningless game that served to show his team they could play with that Patriots team they later defeated in the Super Bowl.  I'm going to roll the dice that the Giants play hard and see if they can knock the Eagles to the 5 seed with a loss.  Even if they don't. 16.5 is an insane spread here.  Giants +16.5

It's the end of the season and the Browns find themselves in a position that is very familiar.  The team is in disarray.  Players are calling out coaches.  The team record is well below expectations.  There is no indication that a solution is on the horizon, and the team needs to meekly play out one more game before leaving the area with their tails between their legs.  Meanwhile, the Steelers, with smoke and mirrors, are 8-8 with a win putting them in the playoffs.  On paper, there is no way the Browns should lose to the Steelers.  However, this will be a low scoring game likely dictated by which team has more heart.  As the Browns aptly demonstrated against the Saints a couple weeks ago, if it's a question of the toughest dog in the fight, it ain't them.  Pittsburgh -2.5

All the Texans need to do to secure the #1 pick in the draft is to lose today.  The problem is that the Colts will also probably try to lose to improve their draft position.  It is odd to see two de-motivated teams having to play each other, each hoping the other team does something to make it look more believable that they didn't overtly throw the game.  I think the wild card in this is Jeff Saturday, the coach of the Colts.  Saturday wants to be the coach next year.  He might be the only person on the field that wants to win this game.  The question then becomes "Is he competent enough to pull off a win?".  I am going to take the Colts who will want to win at home versus a Texans team that showed last week they have packed it in.  Indianapolis -3

Both Seattle and Green Bay need to win to get in to the Playoffs.  The narrative on these games is always "they need it, so they will go out and make it happen".  Let's take a look at it though.  These teams both stink.  I am going to tease the Rams/Lions and maybe do a moneyline bet on both as well.  No one ever remembers when teams "need the win" and lose.  62% of the time, teams fail to cover in that spot.  It's hard to see either team blowing out anyone, much less in this spot.  Rams +11.5/Lions +10.5 teaser.

Season record:  31-19-1