Nurse the Hate: A Shit Progressive Insurance Ad and NFL Week 6

 

I've worked in marketing/advertising for a long time.  If you ever want someone to ruin a TV viewing experience for you, I'm your guy.  I can tell you exactly why the station is doing what they are doing, or what ill advised marketing campaign the advertiser is driving.  Almost everyone in marketing is a C student that went to a lot of parties in school, has read almost nothing, and is blissfully unaware of their surroundings.  If you ever want to feel like a genius, sit in on a marketing meeting.  You'd be stunned at how stupid everyone is yet is convinced they are cracking some sort of code.

One of the real downsides of watching NFL Football is absorbing the multi kazillion dollar ad campaigns of the big corporate players.  By Week 6, you're sick of Flo, Danny Devito, GMC Trucks, and all the other corporate pitch people.  What becomes evident rather quickly is how reactive and afraid Corporate America is of cultural blowback as each client skews towards what they perceive as "safe" messaging while trying to dance on the edge of being "fun".  Instead of delivering a message that resonates with their key target customer, they regard these paid ads as little movies they hope everyone will respond to with excited clapping.  Now me, if I'm selling cars to men, I don't care if women don't respond to my advertisement.  That's not what I'm paying for.  I want to reach my consumer and make money.  "Attention dudes.  Here's a truck that makes you seem manly.  Go buy it.  It's kickass."

I'm about as far from a Trumpy Right Wing Heartland New Facist as possible, but I do find that the swing to finger wagging "you can't think that" has turned off a wide swath of the lunchbox normal population.  Our society is so concerned about being "safe" that now all corporations will err to the side of ineffective ads.  It's tough in light hearted advertising as you are trying to get a chuckle but at minimal risk.  Perfect example...  There is a Progressive Insurance ad in rotation where they spoof the idea of the challenge flag in football.  The concept is that people in normal life toss a challenge flag and review the tape to see who made the mistake that led to the unfortunate situation.  The one that caught my eye after running in every game I watched last weekend, a couple gets in the car and discovers the seats are wet.  The woman is driving and the man in the passenger seat adamantly insists the woman driver left the sun roof open leading to the seats being wet.  

There are quite a few ads like this running and there is a common theme.  It is ALWAYS the man that is the bungling doofus that not only made the error that led to misfortune, but also can't seem to remember he's the one at fault.  The man is always white and middle aged.  He's incapable and laughable.  He's also almost always a member of an unlikely looking interracial couple where his patient partner puts up with this buffoon.  It's interesting for a couple of reasons.  1.  These ads have been put together by corporate committee that want to play it safe, tick numerous demographic boxes and make the messaging appear "diverse" and "inclusive".  2.  All of these corporate entities are blissfully unaware that they are unified in presenting a mosaic to a huge audience weekly that their key target customers are stupid and worthy of scorn. For three broadcast hours Corporate America spends a fortune to tell the highest prized potential customers that they are stupid and laughable.  Can you imagine if the reverse happened?  Progressive runs an ad campaign where the middle class 45 year old white guy straightens out the stupid Hispanic woman. Sit back and watch the fireworks.  Shiver me timbers.  

If Progressive really wanted to cut through the clutter, they'd run that ad where the man returns to the car to find the seats wet and points out "Hey, I didn't fucking drive.  It's your car.  You left the sun roof open.  Why are you pointing the finger at me?  Do you see a sun roof control over here?  Get me a fucking towel.".  I mean, c'mon...  What passenger is in charge of the sun roof?  Also, how many times has a guy gone to a football game and a woman drove over to his house to pick him up?  Did the guy lose his license to a DUI?  The whole situation is absurd.  If Progressive wanted to really resonate with the target audience on a football game ad, they'd have had the guy say "I told you so!" to his girlfriend when they found the seat wet and she suffers a comeuppance.  I mean, that's the fantasy ending the NFL viewers want to see.  Instead this fear of blowback ruins the entire point of the advertisement.  What a waste of money.  Lord, I hate corporate America.  

There's no escaping reality.  That's what the Cleveland Browns are going to find.  The SF 49ers might be one of the best NFL teams of the decade.  They have multiple weapons that can line up in multiple positions leaving the offense undefensible.  The pass rush is brutal.  The 49ers haven't lost a game after trading for McCaffrey except when they had zero (0) healthy pro QBs in that game versus Philadelphia.  The Browns are in their familiar spot of being on the precipice of yet another lost season.  So now we have to pretend the Browns with PJ Walker at QB is going to beat San Francisco?  Ummm...  I got on this early on the week at SF -5 and now its at -10.  I don't see how Cleveland scores in this game. 

I am confused as to why the narrative on the Bears switched from "Holy shit do they suck" to "They turned it around" based on a Thursday night game where Washington came in after playing an extra OT quarter the week before to provide the Bears a victory.  I am very much a believer in the Bears being awful.  Minnesota is the polar opposite of last year, getting a total reversal of last year's consistent good fortune.  I think the Vikings are an 8-9 sorta team, and the Bears are a great place to get one of those 8 wins.  Minnesota -2.5 

Here's today's teaser idea.  How about getting on the Lions, who I think are the 3rd best team in the NFC right now, and tie them into Dallas?  Tampa has been clipping along winning games thanks to a fortunate schedule and shockingly competent play.  The Lions are going to be a test though.  Meanwhile we can tie in a Dallas team fresh off an embarrassment on a national stage and taken them to +4 over a Chargers team that never wins by more than three.  The other key trend to bet on is the "Chargers coach making a shit stupid decision late" that will somehow cost them the game.  Lions +3/Dallas +4. 

Season Record 7-8-1