Student Bus Trips and NFL Week 7

 

I never went on the "Pre Teen school trip" that seems to be a right of passage for anyone in this region.  I don't know why they take kids around age 12 to DC and NY, but it must have been decided at an education seminar somewhere in the 1960s.  "You know what these kids need?  To stand in a group of 70 and stare at the Lincoln Monument!"  I remember my school had that trip, but I didn't go for some reason.  Though I didn't go on that trip, it was legendary as it created the Origin Story for the girl we all later knew at "Water Pik".  ( https://nursethehate.blogspot.com/2013/02/nurse-hate-waterpik-story.html ). 

I heard a great story from a guy this week about his school trip that went to New York.  At his school they took all the kids age 9-11.  Again, why anyone thinks it is a good idea to pack five charter buses filled with kids that age and take them with a short staff to get overstimulated somewhere away from their parents, I don't know.  His trip to New York had the added bonus of his father being one of the chaperones.  His father was a well known authority figure, the type that slightly raised his voice and even the wildest boys would settle the fuck down.  He asked his father recently why he decided to be a chaperone on that doomed voyage, and his father responded with "I knew it would be a shit show but I said "fuck it, I want to go to New York"."  

They did all the normal bullshit stuff that tourists do and no native New Yorkers ever do like go to the Statue of Liberty and stand on the aircraft carrier.  On their last day, the groups split up for a dinner before driving home through the night.  His bus went to an Italian restaurant which had been featured in some movie.  I'm assuming they didn't go to the one where Michael Corleone shot McCluskey in the head in The Godfather, but who the hell knows.  Anyway, the kids get fueled up on whatever they fed them, and they hit the road to go back to NE Ohio on a red eye drive.

It was about 1am when the first signs of trouble gurgled on the bus.  A small disturbance in the front of the bus.  What's that smell?  He looked to his left and saw his classmate Katie suddenly lurch forward, barfing on the seat in front of her.  His shoes started to slip on the floor as he sat in his seat as barf from the front rows of the bus started to slide back as the bus strained up a hill.  Suddenly he felt sick.  He barfed on himself, the seat and the window in front of him.  The entire bus of 9-11 year olds ALL had food poisoning.  It was like that Israeli synchronized pager explosion but in this case a bad lasagna used on 9 year old kids digestive systems.

I am struck with what Colonel Kurtz said in Apocalypse Now.  "The horror, the horror."  For some reason the father and the bus driver hadn't eaten the same thing the kids did.  They were the only two capable of attending to the entire busload of barfing kids.  They pulled over at a truck stop.  As most of the kids had puked all over themselves, they had to get out of their barf drenched clothes.  Sick mothers vainly tried to hold up jackets to provide an area for the girls in the class to change as they dry heaved themselves.  The bus driver, obviously thinking "I don't get paid enough to do this" pulled bags out from the luggage carrier as fast as he could.  Kids barfed randomly all across the parking lot.  Some stood sniffling and crying, dazed in the chaos.  It was a bloodbath. 

It reached a point where the triage had gone as far as it could.  The father, with a medical background, was the only one able to wipe up as much barf as he could with the truck stop window wash towels.  The kids, many now openly crying for their mothers, were loaded back into the reeking bus for another 4-5 hours of road.  My buddy sat back in his seat, feeling awful.  The bus started to move with a lurch, the smell of diesel wafting into the cabin.  It made him start to heave again.  His father grabbed his arm and much as you would to a dog yelled out the simple command, "NO!".  

I feel like I need a controlling figure like that in my life after I spent a weekend chasing my fortune sports gambling and having my money on Carolina, Patriots, Browns, and Giants.  What good could have possibly come from that?  What was I thinking?  Yet, the concept is that the bets that make you the most nervous are probably the best ones to make.  Yes, I'm jumping on another shit team.  Cleveland?  Are you out of your mind?  Sure, it's a divisional game and yes those tend to be close and YES Cleveland is getting a touchdown AT HOME, but I'd like to remind you that the last time someone played QB this badly in the NFL was 2010 and his name was Jimmy Claussen.  Watson is the second worst QB in modern NFL history at this point in the season.  IN HISTORY.  Yet, I can't take the Bengals on the road giving six.  I can't.

I already regret typing this out, but I'm taking Tennessee +9.5 at Buffalo.  I don't think the Bills are much better than average, and I think Tennessee is essentially average.  The one problem is they have Will Levis playing QB, and he's a fucking turnover machine.  If you need someone to make a soul crushing shit stupid pick six late in a game, Levis is your guy.  Why the Titans went "all in" on this guy is perplexing.  Here's the good news.  Levis is questionable this week and Mason Rudolf would start in his absence.  In a normal world you would sprint to the window to bet against Rudolf, but this is the 2024 Titans where this QB change is looked at as good news.  I'll take Tennessee +9.5 with the caveat of Rudolf starting.  They'll lose the game, but just sorta hang around.

If you want to make money, and I think you do, you need to be in a profit focused business.  Let me introduce you to a very lucrative business.  That is fading the New York Jets.  A number of people are still stuck on the fairy tale of Aaron Rodgers being the 35 year old version of himself instead of the rickety crank now playing for the Jets.  The desperate trade for a B+ receiver like Adams from the Raiders IS NOT the answer.  The Jets need three offensive linemen and a new offensive coordinator, not another receiver to be underthrown.  Why the public thinks the Jets are going to roll into Pittsburgh on a short week and win is beyond me.  I don't care who the Steelers QB is, give me Pittsburgh +2 at home.  

I'm not sure, but I think Green Bay might be really good.  I also think that Houston is closer to the team that almost missed the Playoffs than the preseason darlings they became.  Green Bay won four of their last five, the only loss a 2 pointer to an excellent Minnesota team.  That's the same team that scalped Houston 34-7.  The Texans best win was that 23-20 victory over a Bills team with a clearly concussed Josh Allen.  I think asking the Texans to go into Lambeau for a win over this Packer team is a tall order.  I'm on Green Bay -2.5.   

Current record:  8-9