History All Over Again and NFL Week 2

 

Like most everyone, I've been preoccupied with the Charlie Kirk shooting.  I'll admit that until the shooting, I only had a vague idea of who he was.  I had seen some of those "Prove Me Wrong" videos online where he slams a hammer on college kids with overly simplistic and well rehearsed bar room comebacks.  To me he was always just part of that MAGA grifter tent village that orbits around Trump looking for a buck and more clicks in the attention economy that dominates the world of 20 year olds.  Charlie Kirk seemed like one of those Dunning Krueger effect debate guys that you see in high school that smugly think they're an expert on something because they saw a couple youtube videos on a topic and wave away more nuanced deeper understanding as inconvenient.  When I was a high school sophomore, I would absolutely dominate in a classroom debate on a topic like the Death Penalty.  That shit is easy when you're thinking like a teenager.  When you gain some life experience is when you realize it's not an accident that topics like abortion, capital punishment, Middle East, etc have various pros/cons that make things much more complicated than the world of provocateur speakers like Kirk would have you believe.

Like most of our societally accepted daily national gun murders, this didn't make much sense.  As soon as it happened I thought "I wonder where they are going to find the white guy in his twenties that did this" as that is 99/100 who the shooter turns out to be.  Sure as shit, it's a 22 year old gun loving suburban kid that dressed as Trump for Halloween and spends WAYYYY too much time on the internet.  Just as predictably, our beloved leader then went on Fox News to blame "radical left extremists" to further divide and inflame the edgy population.  Now I'm not sure how you box this 22 year old Mormon that appears to be a radicalized right wing gamer kid into a hardcore left radical especially since he lives in fucking rural Utah, but that's what we are going with on this.  That means that whatever pretzel logic the Fox Viewer will need to do to spread further hate online will take about 12 hours, and we can nestle in for more shooting and killing from white suburban males.  The only way you can believe that purple hair urban baristas confused about their sexuality are going to bring the downfall of the country is to have never been inside an independent coffee shop or punk rock bar in your life.  However, every dipshit with a beard in a pickup truck and grandmas in assisted living will be convinced that everyone except the suburban white male in his twenties that pulls every trigger is somehow responsible for all crimes.    

I don't know how a suburban white guy shooting another suburban white guy will turn into ICE agents herding brown people and cross dressers into "detention centers", but that's where we are going.  "They" are going to get blamed, and you better not get lumped into being one of "them" or you're gonna get fucked.  As a guy that has read a great deal of German history from 1918-1939, I can tell you with great confidence that USA 2025 bears an uncanny resemblance to Germany in 1936 except our version is dumbed down as a "brought to you by Wal Mart/WWE/Marvel" vibe.  We are all getting used to having the military on the streets like it's no big deal.  The federal private police force ICE has a larger budget than all armies on the earth except our own and China.  Remember when we were freaking out about Iraq's army during the Gulf War?  The masked goons in ICE have a bigger budget.  The German circle of power in the 30s is eerily reminiscent of the podcasters, flunkies and tv hosts sitting atop the pedestals of power today.  The administration ignores the courts and the opposition hasn't quite grasped that the guys in power have tossed out the rulebook.  The country you grew up in is o-v-e-r.  This is a new age my friend where anything goes, and if you're not in the clique, you ain't getting paid.  It will be a short run as that comet burns across the sky, but the money is flowing and you can deny it all later.   

That leaves you with the choice to watching Rome burn OR watching the Cardinals kick the Panthers in the fucking teeth.  Me?  I'm watching that.  I am of the impression that the Panthers might be worse than everyone thought.  That weird flicker of life they had at the end of the year seems like an anomaly and not a trend.  All those player rating services like Pro Football Focus, though flawed, are in agreement that the Panthers various units all sit in the bottom 20% of every metric.  The Jaguars, who aren't exactly elite, handled the Panthers easily.  The Cardinals just beat the Saints on the road, so why won't they smack the Panthers around in Arizona?  Bad teams don't win on the road.  Arizona -6.

In Week 2 I like to look for teams that I know are good that lost in Week 1.  Good teams usually don't  start 0-2.  KC is 0-1 but I'm not sprinting to the window to bet them against the Eagles.  This could be the fall off the cliff year for Kansas City.  Baltimore lost to Buffalo, but let's be honest... We know the Ravens are legit.  You have to like them against a Browns team that is probably better than national opinion thinks they are, or at least until they put in a rookie QB.  I have some concerns about the point spread on that Ravens game because the Browns defense might be for real, and they know how to play Lamar.  In the last four years that Browns/Ravens series is 4-4.  I just can't see the Ravens losing another game after that heartbreaking loss to Buffalo.  The Browns offense is NOT the Bills offense, and then I saw a Browns safety poke the Bear and say Derrick Henry wasn't hard to tackle.  I don't know why you would do that.  I want to tie that game into a parlay with another 0-1 team.  I'm thinking Lions.  Detroit might not be as good as last year, but they didn't disintegrate after being 15-2.  The Packers look like an elite team at this point so that loss in Green Bay isn't terrible.   Baltimore/Detroit money line parlay.

Let's be honest though...  The Packers made the Lions look bad last week.  Let's also face another fact.  The Bears are NOT the Packers.  I have to think Dan Campbell has the boys all whipped up and ready for action in the home opener.  I think this Lions team is not as good as last year, and the schedule is very challenging.  Still, they should be a playoff team.  Monday Night the Bears looked like... well... the Bears.  This doesn't look like a team that goes on the road and beats good teams.  They look like a team that beats up on the Panthers and the Titans and the Giants.  Detroit-6.  

Current Record:  1-3    

Test Results and NFL Week 1

 

I get my Master of Wine exam results at the end of next week.  There are three possible results.  Result 1. I passed the exam.  This is not going to happen as I know many areas that were not up to par in my answers.  I'm sorry, but I didn't know enough about wind impact in farming.  That's on me.  Result 2. I passed an area or two across three tasting exams and five essay sections.  This is what I'm hoping for as I can then really focus on filling in on my shortcomings and have some confidence moving forward.  That means I can try again next June.  Result 3.  I failed completely and am excommunicated from the program.  I don't think I did that poorly, but the education committee has a well documented history of not liking how I write (i.e. not like an English University student) and depending on who graded what, you can get totally lit up.  If that happens I could get booted from the program and then have to wait two years to re-apply to put myself into the meat grinder once again.  Thus, not knowing what scenario I am in has me struggling to stay motivated to study fermentation chemistry details and grape farming practices in volcanic soils in the Greek Isles.  I'm treading intellectual water right now and I don't like it.  

On the other hand, it feels like a year ago as to when I took that exam so I'm sort of done with sweating about it.  I keep forgetting that the results are coming next week until reminded by others.  That exam is something "Old Greg" did.  "New Greg" is doing Cowslingers practice and getting ready to harvest some grapes in France.  I have a morbid curiosity as to what the result is, but I'm not waking up in the middle of the night freaking out because I can't remember what grapes are used in Sicilian wines.  Whatever happens is going to happen and I'll react accordingly.  Just let me know what the deal is so I can plan what I am going to do for the next 9 months.  This MW quest is essentially a solo challenge with minimal tangible reward that is almost impossible to achieve, especially so if you don't reside in the waters of academia in the UK.  There was one new MW named this summer, and it was a woman that is a "multi sensory flavor perception" professor at the University of Copenhagen who got a PHD from Oxford, a Bachelors in computer science at CalTech, a Masters from MIT ands was the Captain of the Oxford Blind Wine Tasting Society.  By contrast, I went to Kent State, hung out with guys named Apeman/Jimmy Jazz/Bag Man, and later sold media sponsorships to Tough Man Contests and strip bars.  My smarts are a bit more street than the latest MW I'd reckon, but much less useful in this application.

I will tell you this... The Oxford Blind Wine Tasting Society can zero in on a Burgundy vintage, but I'll bet they can't get you a winner on Sunday.  It's time to get this season going, and I'm fresh off hitting that Dallas v Philly UNDER last night so I'm feeling good.  My first step is to leap right into dangerous waters and take the Cleveland Browns +6 over Cincinnati.  Look, we all agree that the Browns are not going to win a bunch of games this year.  I think we can also agree that the team will be much better early in the season than late.  For the next 6-7 games barring injury, Joe Flacco is going to try to be competitive and provide an example for the two shitty rookie QBs looking on before the team hands the keys to them to "see what they've got".  Spoiler alert, what they've got are a couple potential backup QBs that are going to look terrible in the windy Nov/Dec portion of the schedule.  There's no need to worry about that now though.  This is a weekly game we are playing, and we just need the Browns to stay close.  Divisional home underdogs cover these games, especially in Week 1.  If it makes you nervous, chances are that it's a good bet.  No guts, no glory.  Cleveland +6

I have the same mindset with Atlanta at home +2.5 over Tampa.  When I look at Tampa and Atlanta, I see pretty much the same team.  They would both have losing records but are fortunate enough to play in the NFC South so somebody has got to win the division.  Tampa got all the good breaks last year so that means it should swing Atlanta's way this year.  Cousins killed Atlanta's season after he hurt his shoulder.  I think he threw 4 backbreaking Q4 interceptions to lead Atlanta to losses before he got benched for Pennix last season.  Pennix came in, looked at least better than Cousins did, and they won some games.  Divisional game at home with Tampa having two O line injuries?  Why not Atlanta?  Atlanta beat Tampa twice last year with Cousins.  I think they can do it again at home with Pennix and points.  Atlanta +2.5

Let's go for a third...  I'm on Seattle +1.5 at home vs the 49ers.  The narrative on SF is they are "back" after an injury plagued 2024, and with an easy schedule will breeze back to the playoffs.  Seattle dumped out on Geno for Sam Darnold, which sort of seems like saying "I traded in my Hyundai for a Kia" horizontal change, but maybe they know something we don't.  They sure knew that Russell Wilson was d-u-n done before the Broncos did (though I do have some concerns that their old coach Pete Carroll brought Geno into the Raiders building ASAP).  The Niners are starting the year with a bunch of injuries.  All their playmakers except an increasingly rickety Kittle are out or on the injury report.  McCaffrey having a calf injury before Week 1 certainly doesn't inspire confidence.  I am looking for a boring Seahawks team to win a close game at home.  Seattle +2.5     

Here's a concept for you.  Teams with new QBs and new offensive coordinators don't score a lot of points in Week 1.  With this in mind, I was going to go UNDER on the Steelers v Jets game, but instead just jumped on the Jets team total.  I'm getting the Steelers defense playing against Justin Fields who they practiced against all last year with his new OC calling the plays at a game at Heinz Field.  As someone once wisely said, "The Jets Never Cover The Spread".  Mike Tomlin needs a win out of the gate, as does Aaron Rodgers.  I think they dial it up and come with 100% focus at the Jets.  No better time for Jets fans to be disappointed than fresh out of the gate in Week 1.  Jets Under 17.5

Sucking On Chili Dogs

 

I was doing yard work today, the sun straining to give the illusion of summer heat, the unmistakeable tinge of Autumn's arrival creeping in on the sides.  The end of summer is tough in NE Ohio, where the move is more severe than most places that don't have the abrupt shift to cool temperatures that arrive with Labor Day like the flick of a light switch.  I use a push mower and let the sound of the angry machine act as a white noise to allow my mind to drift.  I've come up with a bunch of our well known songs while mowing, ideas that pop into my head out of nowhere.  I tried to let my head empty as I mowed up a combination of suddenly green grass and crispy brown early fallen leaves.  

I must have been thinking about the end of summer, summer songs, and that sort of thing when John Mellencamp's "Jack and Diane" came into my head like an unwanted jukebox selection.  You know, as much as I've tried to avoid that song, it's really pretty good.  That vibe of an Indiana Tastee Freeze with the young couple hanging out is pure Midwestern summer.  It captures that moment of teenage purity with impending adulthood and more serious consequences of actions in a light way in the verses with a real bummer of a chorus.  "Life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone".  Damn, that's really good.  But the line that obscures that killer chorus is that chili dog verse.  You know the one...  "suckin on a chili dog outside the Tastee Freeze".

It's an interesting word choice that "suckin".  It's not like every inch of that monster corporate record wasn't debated by the label.  Mellencamp, a known and admitted red ass, knew what he was doing there.  Why didn't he use something more literal for chili dog consumption like "chompin" or "bitin" or "wolfin" or "chewin"?  Did he use "suckin" to get your headspace into Diane was down with blowing Jack and maybe wasn't so innocent a debutante?  Or was he trying to set a tone of unsatisfied youthful sexual energy?  Look, I have had my share of chili dogs over the years, and not once did I "suck on a chili dog".  Maybe that's some sort of Indiana technique I don't know about.  Maybe it's a nod to recent dental work that required a more gentle eating approach.  I don't know.  Anyway, that's what I was thinking about as I cut the grass this afternoon. 

What I should have been thinking about was my NFL over/unders.  My beloved Milwaukee Brewers came in on their over this week.  That White Sox under bet is dead in the water, so I'm even there.  Now it just comes down to the Guardians winning 79+ games.  THAT is going to be tight as they have sort of tossed the towel in on the season and are kinda sorta trying to make the Playoffs in September.  I really don't want to be white knuckling a Guardians v Texas Rangers game on Sept 27th, but here we are.  Regardless of the outcome, that position I took on that one was mild next to the multi app steam I put on the other two.  That leaves me some more room for the NFL totals.

As I have noted, I am on the Saints UNDER 7.5 wins, a total I can't believe I got down.  They are going to suck so fucking bad.  How is Spencer Rattler going to drive you to victory?  Rattler is 0-7 in his NFL starts.  He will go 0-4 and then turn it over to that shit rookie they drafted for continued dismal results.  I am also on Matt Stafford UNDER 3650 passing yards.  The Rams are already talking about Jimmy G starting a couple games so Stafford can make it though the season.  Sure, that's all you need with a fucked up disc in your back.  You can just rest a week and then get right back in there and get hit by 300 pound monsters and you'll be fine.  No problem there.  If you can still find that line, get down on that.

I like to look for UNDERS.  This is the NFL, when things tend to go poorly as opposed to miraculously well.  If a team takes injuries, they're doomed.  That's a built in edge for unders.  Someone that has caught my attention is the Carolina Panthers.  Colin Cowherd was riffing that they could win 10 games this year.  There is this narrative that the Panthers relative good finish last year portends a leap to respectability in 2025.  Bryce Young came back and was...  OK?  There's this collective amnesia about what really happened there.  After Thanksgiving the Panthers went 2-5 which included a meaningless win in the last week vs the Falcons.  They beat Arizona, Giants and the Spencer Rattler led Saints.  Not exactly murderer's row there.  They got smoked by Dallas at the end of the year 30-14 which is BAD.  Tampa beat 'em 48-14.  So what are the Panthers exactly and why are they going to go OVER 6.5 wins?

The Panthers finished dead last in defense on points allowed.  They allowed the most yards.  They allowed the most rushing yards.  The good news is they were only 29th in pass defense, probably because no one bothered to pass since they could run the ball so easily.  The offense sucked too.  They were 23rd overall in yardage, 24th in points and 31st in passing yards.  Why are they at 6.5 wins when they went 5-12 last season with one of those wins a preseason game type win?  Surely they must have signed some monster free agents and upgraded massively with the draft!

So the Panthers spent a bunch of money on two offensive guards, which was odd in that their offensive line was ranked 7th by Pro Football Focus.  The Panthers are operating under the idea that if they protect little Bryce Young, everything is going to be just great.  They drafted a big deal rookie receiver from Arizona that split the scouts between "the guy is gonna be awesome" and "I don't know about this guy".  They signed RB Travis Etienne, which would have been awesome three years ago.  Essentially they threw seven new guys into the defense with a plan the Cleveland Browns have often used called "They gotta be better than what we had" which doesn't always deliver like you'd hoped.  I dunno.  It feels like everyone sort of decided the Panthers would be better because that's what we all decided for some reason.  They went 0-3 in the presesason and struggled to score points.  The rookie receiver had the second worst grade of any receivers in the preseason 87th out of 89.  They traded Adam Theilen so the Panthers don't seem too concerned.  I'm looking long and hard at an Under 6.5 wins here.  That Panthers organization sucks hard.  Sucks chili dog hard.  I might juice this up to Under 7.5 wins.  In the last decade the Panthers have won 8 games only once.  Carolina Panthers UNDER 7.5 wins      

        

The String Cheese Incident

 

I went to see String Cheese Incident, mostly by accident.  Los Lobos was opening up, so I figured I'd go see them as they are reliably outstanding/criminally underrated and check out String Cheese since I was there anyway.  I have a great many friends that are very down with the jam band scene, which you can also read as "I have a great many friends that like to get baked with like minded people in a groovy atmosphere".  I have generally felt that most jam bands except the Grateful Dead (with Jerry Garcia) are essentially party background music.  I love(d) the Dead for the combination of the band ethos, the combination of classic American music forms, and the undeniably great playing of Garcia.  However, the biggest reason the Dead appealed to me was simple.  The songs.  This is the key ingredient that eliminates the rest of the jam bands from my interest.  Off the top of your head, can you remember any jam band original song?  It's usually some obligatory cosmic verse or sparkling eye drug reference, a derivative chorus and then the meandering solo "jam" that lacks focus.  I usually lose interest in about 2 minutes.

I had a discussion recently with a jam band enthusiast friend and I asked him, "Who do you think I should check out?  What am I missing?".  His answer was String Cheese Incident as he felt their bluegrass/Americana influences would be a good match for me.  I remember giving a Phish show a chance once and the bass player played some revved up cowboy type song that was the most limp dick Americana attempt I have ever seen, so I did enter the show with some trepidation.  Still, I was into Los Lobos, so if things went South I could bail.  It was a free ticket after all...

Los Lobos was supposed to start at the mystifying start time of 6pm.  I'm into earlier shows as I spent most of the 1980s-2000s like everyone else, standing around waiting for 10pm to hit so the band would start.  I have a general rule that if the sun is too high, it's almost impossible to rock.  On top of that, it was hot AF and Los Lobos are really old dudes now.  Those guys have been a band for 53 years now.  They must be in their 70s at this point, no?  It can't be easy to bring it in 86 degree heat with 90% humidity.  I was doing a wine tasting nearby, so I figured I'd slide out of there a little early and catch Los Lobos.  Ultimately a 2018 Keplinger Carneros Syrah, a pair of cabernet franc, and a Super Tuscan derailed me on a timely exit.  I missed Los Lobos.

I have lived in NE Ohio for 35 years.  Up until last week's Wilco show, I had never been to a show at Cain Park.  This would now be my second show at Cain Park in a week.  I looked around for my buddy Dave and saw what is the standard jam band audience.  You know this crowd... college educated older dudes in their 40s-50s wearing obscure hippie band t-shirts to announce their membership in the tribe.  Women in their late 20s-40s in long flowy sundresses and blouses, their "I used to party" costumes.  There are a few cross generational family groups too.  Then there's me in my sweaty Fat Possum Records T-shirt and chucks.  I bought a giant beer and looked for Dave as the band started.

A few notes on String Cheese Incident...  The band is clearly well rehearsed and tight with the loose comfort of playing together for years.  The best instrumentalist is the keyboard guy, which is trouble for a jam band.  The key for a top tier jam band has always been having a guitar hero, a guy that plays too much because he CAN goddammit, and they don't really have that.  They have a couple guys playing guitar that can do that "noodle around" thing that stays in the same general area and is "fine", but not really attention getting.  There's also the matter of the songs.  I watched almost two full sets and I cannot hum back to you any of the basic melodies of any song on the setlist except when they covered The Police's "Walking On The Moon".  However, if you want to get baked out and let some hippie music wash over you, that's as good a place as any to do it.  I did spot a couple of women in their thirties going really hard that looked like they had a future as being "that one chick I took to Cabo that one time" protagonist in some unsuspecting guy's story years from now.  I see that as "Yeah man, she was super fun for the first day, but she got totally fucked up on tequila shots at the pool on the second day and was out of control.  The hotel told me I had to get her back to the room, but she cursed me out and grabbed a cab to some beach rave she heard about.  She never made it back to the hotel so I just said "fuck this" after breakfast and went home to Ohio early.  Jimbo told me he saw her when he was down there last year selling sculptures from scrap metals and she's with some scuba instructor named "Dragon"."

As I walked back to my car, I thought about something I had forgotten to do but had noted in my phone as a task.  DING!  "Place an UNDER bet on Matt Stafford passing yards".  As I have outlined in the past, when I make season long bets, it is always an UNDER and is usually focused not on player performance but on player health or circumstance.  That DeShaun Watson under bet last year had nothing to do with his ability, but rather his complete lack of interest in playing NFL Football.  This year, the health of Matt Stafford has me leaning heavy on UNDER 3650 yards passing.  For those of you that don't pay attention to the health status of the LA Rams, and I would expect that to be most of you, Stafford has been dealing with an injured back.  A couple weeks ago he got an epidural.  As far as I know, an epidural is not a healing measure but something for extreme pain tolerance.  He then hasn't participated in ANY practice activities until yesterday where he went out and ran 26 plays in practice conditions.  He allegedly has had an "aggravated disc" in his back, and the off season has been very murky for him.  

Here's what we know.  He's 37 years old.  He has a history of back problems, but this is the most serious.  He's got three weeks until he needs to get out there versus the Houston Texans.   Last year he threw for 3762 yards, the third declining year since his 2021 triumphant Super Bowl season.  Jimmy G, the Rams second string, has not been allowed to take a snap in the preseason, a clear indication of how important the Rams view his health.  So tell me, how is a 37 year old QB with an aggravated disc in his back that needed an epidural going to perform as well as he did last year?  Seems to me the Rams will try to run the ball, favor quick release passes to limit contact, and steer the offensive philosophy to keep Stafford upright.  OK...  Maybe they feel like Stafford is tough and can play the same type of ball he always has.  Let's say when he plays he's as good as he's always been too.  Sure.  Can he do that for 17 games?  I am not optimistic on his chances.  I sure as hell don't want to get hit by a 275 pound d-lineman with a full head of steam in the best circumstances, much less when I have an aggravated disc in my back.  There are too many negatives to ignore.  Stafford UNDER 3650 passing yards. 

          

An Old Rock Memoir Finds Me

 

Since I started this damn MW program almost every book I read has been about wine.  I read a book for pleasure a couple weeks ago, "Petal Pusher", a re-print of a rock memoir from the early 1990s from a pretty obscure Minneapolis band.  Oh, don't worry, after finishing that book I started an act of penance by reading a translated Spanish book on geology and wine terroir just to keep the universe in harmony.  But... Back to "Petal Pusher"...

The book is a first person account from Laurie Lindeen on her band ZuZu's Petals.  They were about 3-4 years in front of The Cowslingers in their development, but I remember seeing them booked into some of the same venues that we played and I knew they had a record deal on Twin Tone (something to be jealous of in our van).  The book is a pretty good read about someone trying to make it in an all female band without the dogma hangups of the Riotgrrl thing that came along shortly afterwards.  There is an interesting dichotomy about the book however.  Lindeen is very self effacing about her own abilities and band's limits but at the same time seems totally blind to the fact that they were afforded all of the opportunities to be on the label and get high profile shows because they were in the same clique as the guys in Soul Asylum, Jayhawks and Replacements.  They worked together at the hipster diner, drank at the same bar, and all lived in the same social circle.  Zuzu's Petals had a record deal well before they knew how to play and got to skip the multi year phase of learning how it all worked.  I think she was also oblivious to the fact that any all female band that got on a stage immediately got a crowd that was theirs to lose due to the sheer uniqueness of it and the undeniable draw to the undersexed male 18-24 indie rock club goer.  We would have killed for those connections and advantages.

Something that struck me in the book was an emphasis on how much "the scene" appealed to Lindeen as apart from the desire to create songs.  It came off to me that they liked to party, wanted to become a bigger part of the scene and do what they had seen their friends doing.  I have always been singing hooks of songs that hit me out of the blue into recorders or writing turns of phrase that catch my ear to use later.  The songs are such an afterthought in this book.  Zuzu's Petals had ambition and drive to get on stage, but my takeaway was it was more about being a bigger part of the scene as opposed to making great records.  For example, they got the chance to do a ramshackle tour of England after putting out their first single.  Crazy opportunity.  Granted, it ended in disaster, which makes for a good read.  Yet, they all went home and cancelled dates before the "tour" finished because they were miserable.  If every punk rock band left the road when things got fucked up, no tour would have ever completed in 1988-94.  I have passed along a great number of sketchy ass stories from that time period in this blog, and never once did we say "we quit, we are going home".

Their band trajectory went like this:  They put out a record on Twin Town in 1992.  The book mentions a few tours they quit in the middle because they wanted to go home.  In 1995 they have to put out a follow up record because Twin Tone had been gobbled up by the large conglomerate Roadrunner and it was time.  The problem is that in the three years since that first record came out, they didn't write any songs.  I have no idea how that is possible.  They then wrote the next record in the studio (always an awful idea) and not surprisingly the record wasn't very good.  Lindeen seems to think they should have had more tour support, which seems odd as even she knew the record wasn't very good and wouldn't sell.  Why would the label put their limited resources there?  "Hey, we have a crappy record that comes three years after our last modest record, we quit every tour we go out on, and we cancelled our European dates because one of the band members wanted to go home.  Where's our tour support?".  Seriously, she had no idea of the breaks that they were given or the experiences they were gifted and pissed away.  Ultimately the book is about a band that thought being a touring band looked cool and never liked the reality of it.

There are a bunch of stories that go "We showed up at the club, and the people that worked there were kind of dicks, and then there were only 20 people at the show."  Well, yeah...  It's not like people are thinking "When am I going to get the chance to see some strange women I don't know play unfamiliar songs somewhat poorly for $10 at the club?".  It looks easy when you are hanging out at the packed club with your talented buddies in Soul Asylum and The Jayhawks that worked their ass off and wrote a bunch of songs to find 10 good ones for their latest LP.  You have to do the work, but more importantly, you have to WANT to do the work.  If you don't love the whole of it, life on the road as an indie rock musician is no place to be, especially in 1993 (even if in 1993 people would think "Hey, they're on Twin Tone so we should check it out").

I started to feet like I was being snotty when I read the book as club after club that we have played showed up in the text.  "What are you whining about?".  I did get a sense she was being a little too self effacing and took a lot of labor to distance herself from cashing in on the relationship with her boyfriend (later husband/ex-husband) Paul Westerberg of The Replacements in both the band and in the book.  It very easily could have turned into a "I Married Paul" tell-all book as a cash in, but to her credit she clearly wanted to avoid any sense of that.  I was curious to see if she played music now or if she just wrote (which is much easier but much less of an adrenalin shot than playing in a rock band).  I then felt REALLY badly when I saw she had died suddenly a number of years ago.  This then make me re-think the memoir and re-focus on her very real health struggles that now seem like foreshadowing and ask if the author might have been too hard on herself for the band's "failure".  There was a chapter late in the book where she touches on how she was speaking with another musician about the band after it was over, and the disappointment she felt.  It was pointed out to her that they had sold 30,000 records, toured the country, and had the opportunity to have the experience of the band lifestyle that had always been the goal in the first place.  It seemed to me like she was trying to convince herself even more than the reader that she had in fact done something noteworthy in those passages.  As I thought about it, it hit me that she really had been a success.  It had never been about writing a #1 song.  It had been about getting up there and doing it.  

As we have been playing these Cowslinger shows this month, we have had the inevitable walks down memory lane.  That book had found me at sort of a perfect time, allowing me to put perspective on what we had been doing in 1993, one of the various vans traveling the Midwest playing shitty rock clubs just because we liked it.  Unlike the members of Zuzu's Petals, I still like it, but I think that's because I like almost all of it.  It stopped being about "the scene" a long time ago and instead has been about the more elusive pursuit of writing and playing good songs that connect with our people.  As we climb back in the van, the same guys as 1993, it was illuminating to see what it was like in another one of those vans driving around on I-90 hoping some people would be at the gig.  We would have looked at them as super successful, which ultimately I guess they were.    

Of Course

 

The kid at the grocery store rang up my purchase.  He had these big bangs like I used to have in 1983.  He doesn't know yet that this look is something he will try to distance himself from in the future.  It's tough to know in the moment what haircut or pair of pants will age poorly and haunt you in adulthood.  You are feeling like you're badass in 2025, then 12 years later your fiance is squinting at a family photo asking your mother why she let you look like Dee Dee Ramone.  This shit moves fast.

I paid for the groceries and the kid handed me my receipt.  I thanked him.  "Of course" was his response.  There has been an odd language move amongst the 18-30 age demographic where they refuse to say "you're welcome" and now exclusively use "of course".  I don't know what's going on there.  It seems like some sort of minor language turf war that is an attempt to gain the high ground where "of course" suggests less subservience than "thank you", though I will admit it might just be some Tik Tok influencer I don't know or care about busted out an "of course" and people just picked up on it.  I drove to get gas.  I walked inside and bought an unsweetened iced tea, the most rare of all gas station drinks, at the local "Get-Go" mart.  The very tall androgynous clerk said "of course" after I made the purchase and thanked them, which led me to shift my thinking from "Why would an androgynous 20 year old get a death defying job at a hillbilly Get-Go?" to "Why the fuck is everyone that age now saying "of course"?.  I don't know. 

When I was seven years old, David Bowie was out in front of that "I think we're all gay!" scare that rippled through suburban America with glam.  Out of touch parents didn't understand that it was just a shock tactic, to be mirrored by the Satanic Metal scare of the 1980s and the truly terrifying suburban teens trend of glomming onto hip hop culture in the 1990s.  That was a weird moment when all the rappers wanted to be rich and all their suburban fanbase wanted to be a poor inner city gang member.  Kids in developmental phases are eager to stake out positions that will get a reaction, and my gut is that there will be quite a few androgynous folks seeking to put a spin on their 2025 appearance in about 12 years.  I don't really care one way or the other as I don't have the skin in the game of a parent with a 17 year old girl hoping to win the Sectional volleyball title this year, and as well all know NOTHING is as important as suburban high school sports.  

The summer marches on and I look forward to when I look at the calendar this week and say out loud, "I can't believe it's almost August!" as if this summer has gone more quickly than any of the others before it.  When you live in the Great Lakes Region, the calendar works like this:  Winter goes from January 1-April 30th. Most of May is Spring.  Summer is Memorial Day weekend with a hard stop at Labor Day weekend.  September to mid-November is Fall.  Then you enter the 30 week winter season.  The only good news is football is almost back.  

I am starting to look at more of these season long win totals bets.  These are tough, as the NFL's team margins are so razor thin.  I take great caution at ever betting an OVER as each team is essentially one devastating QB injury away from doom.  For example, you can be very bullish on the Cincinnati Bengals to win over 9.5 games this year, but what happens if injury plagued Joe Burrow goes down in Week 3?  You want to get on Jake Browning to lead the Bengals to 10 wins?  Be my guest.  As a result, I tend to lean on the unders as more bad things can happen to teams than good things during the course of the year.  There are a couple I am kicking around right now...

The Chicago Bears at 8.5 wins is fraught with danger.  They won 5 games last year.  Between us, I'm not sold on Caleb Williams being "the answer" as a franchise QB as the Bears have a long history of choosing the wrong guy to be their savior at QB.  Jay Cutler turned out to be Jay Cutler.  They missed on MVP Mitch.  Their best modern QB is who?  Jim McMahon?  And he only gave them three good years.  I have a hard time seeing how Chicago can win 9 in what is expected to be the toughest division in the NFL.  I'm leaning under there.

The Hype Train is on the Patriots.  Drake Maye is already been ordained by the New England area media as The Shit.  Getting Mike Vrabel as head coach, who they should have hired in the first place, is being expected to turn them into instant playoff contenders.  That over/under number is sitting at 8.5 wins.  Let's pump the brakes here.  Vrabel made the playoffs 3 times in 6 years at Tennessee, and he had a generational running back in Travis Henry.  The Patriots had a massive point differential last year, it's not like they lose heartbreakers at the end of games.  They won four games last year.  They sucked.  Why are they going to more than double their win total?  Let's stay in our shoes here.  If they go 7-10 and stay competitive all year, that's a strong foot forward for the organization.  It's also an under.  

Let's keep an eye on these training camp injuries and enjoy the rest of the summer.  It will be time to spring into action in no time and allow ourselves to make a windfall of cash.  When we do, I don't expect you to say "thank you".  But if you do, I will certainly give you a heartfelt response of "of course".            

  

Has It All Been Done?

 

I am beginning to have great concerns that culturally everything I see now is a repeat.  Like you, I have almost unlimited options for music and film.  Every new movie release trailer I see I immediately think "I know what that is and I've seen that."  A big summer blockbuster movie like F1 comes out and within two seconds you know the older driver finds redemption, a love interest is the confrontational journalist, and a friendship is formed painfully with the young hotshot other driver after some dust ups.  Gee... I wonder if Brad Pitt has to make a sacrifice at the end of the film to allow the young kid to win "The Big Race" while finding that real satisfaction is helping others achieve their dreams instead of selfishly pursuing his own?  The other options are movies somehow banged out from video games or C Level superheroes.  You ever wonder why the General Population isn't outraged at handing an autocracy to The New Christian Nazi Grift Boyz, just remember that they're all lining up to see The Minecraft Movie.  They're too busy to worry about their grandma's healthcare.  Fucking A.  

I keep sniffing around trying to find exciting new music, but we are in this weird time where if you're in your 20s, you think the coolest shit that ever happened was the late 1970s California light rock sound with just a touch of indie dissonance.  Why does every band playing Mahall's and The Grog Shop look like Seals and Crofts if they shopped at Urban Outfitters?  I get it when I'm not into whatever pop garbage is on top of the charts.  I have never been into that, so that's par for the course.  Dua Lipa is the same old bullshit recycled from 1976.  Lots of people prefer junk food, and that's what pop is, the Taco Bell of music.  Still, this alleged "indie scene" really feels like a fallow time at the moment.  Or... did I just get to the end of all my options?  The big ideas are done and now I need to go backwards to see what I missed?  

The problem is there is just so much shit out there, all of it screaming for your attention at the same time, it's easy to miss something you'd be jacked up about because you were trying to avoid some ad to go see 80 year old AC/DC come to town to scrape all the Gen X money into their pockets before heading to the Euro Open Air Festivals.  It's just so exhausting to try and find it.  Is it just me, or was it actually better when you bought a few records and then digested them to see if you liked them?  I don't think anyone's attention span is long enough to make it through sampling a full song anymore.  That was the joy of radio.  You had to grit your teeth through hearing Toto's "Africa" because maybe, just maybe, they'd play a Zeppelin song next.  As a result of everyone's quick trigger finger now, unless you capture their attention in the first 5 seconds, they are looking for the cozy familiar sound of a Nirvana hook just to allow their synapses to relax for a second.  

I've been watching a great deal of baseball.  Some days I feel great satisfaction watching "my" Brewers continue to exceed expectations.  Yet on others my focus is on the Colorado Rockies laser intensity on destroying my "White Sox worst record" bet.  I might have to white knuckle this "Guardians Over 79" bet, but I hedged that with a SF Giants over.  Yes, on any given night I receive conflicting good/bad news from the perpetual baseball season.  It's a summer of conflicting emotions.  White Sox lost to the Guardians... Brewers beat Cubs... Guardians losing to the As... Giants are beating Colorado... Let me sort this out.  Is this good or bad for me?  Hmmmm.  

My only recourse now is to check out "bands other musician dudes like but I didn't get" while I watch baseball with the sound off, generally betting against the Rockies whenever they play a team with a winning record and a healthy starter.  I'm in luck today as the Brewers play the Rockies this afternoon.  I also decided to see my particular version of an AC/DC show, watching the Chameleons UK play a set.  I last saw them in 1987 I think at Peabody's in the Flats.  Now I'll be at a casino, sort of like seeing The Turtles if this was 1992.  I need to remind myself to say, "I saw them in 89" to as many disinterested people as possible while the band probably (hopefully) plays songs they wrote in the intervening 36 years.  It's a little grim.  I better wander out of the house more often to go see some one syllable named band at a squat.  Do they still have those?  Squats?  I'm out of it.