Nurse the Hate: A Quick Buyer's Guide For Sparkling Wine

 I think we can say that 2020 was not a fabulous year.  This New Year's Eve is less about a hopeful ringing in of the New Year than a barbaric purge, a tribal dance on the grave of 2020.  Though there won't be any fabulous parties this New Year's Eve (unless you are in Sturgis SD where undoubtedly .38 Special is playing to 3000 maskless people crammed into a tent), it is still an occasion that deserves to be marked with sparkling wine.  Those crafty French in the Champagne region have pulled off one of the most remarkable multi generational marketing jobs in history.  There is no celebrated occasion on the planet that the first impulse is not to "pop open some champagne".  Weddings, births, engagements, promotions, romance, championships... they all call for champagne.  The branding is so deep that if a morose man walked into a bar after being terminated from his job, sat slumped over at the bar stool, and ordered a glass of champagne, the first impulse would be for the bartender to ignore all the other evidence and ask "What are you celebrating buddy?".  I think we are all that slumped over schlub at the bar at the end of this disastrous year.  Let's open up a sparkler.  We deserve it.  

I was in Giant Eagle grocery store today at the Starbucks counter where the two young men that seem to work most mornings were doing "their thing".  I refer to the skinny one as "The Nimrod" and the chunky one as "The Big Man".  They are like Laurel and Hardy meets Beevis and Butthead.  Let's not pull any punches here.  Those two are a couple of dopes.  They're nice enough, but they are at the absolute limit of their abilities right now.  I am guessing they are total experts at video games and masturbation, but probably not much else.  

As I stood there waiting for my double espresso (which after months The Nimrod stopped calling eXpresso) and the boys started a conversation with each other.  Motioning over to a mountainous display of sparkling wine, The Nimrod said "I am gonna get one of those champagnes for New Year's Eve!".  As the English and Well Bred Southern Girls say, "Bless him".  That display was industrially produced Asti Spumante, California Sparkling Wine and Cheap Ass Prosecco.  All of it was overpriced for what the consumer receives.  It made me think how the wine trade has made sparkling wine about as confusing as health insurance premiums for no apparent benefit.  Assuming you are going to do The Right Thing and open a sparkling wine tonight, I am going to tell you just enough to be dangerous and not fuck up when making your purchase.

Here's the way I see it.  There are two ways to approach bubbles:  quantity or quality.  It all comes down to the situation.  Are you going to be with a small number of people and enjoy a good quality wine?  Or are you going to need to crush a large number of bottles with a small group because someone put on Ryan Seacrest's Rockin' New Year's Eve where some shitty Top 40 group you've never heard of is lip synching their shitty hit which makes some girl gets off the couch and squel "I LOVE THIS SONG!" and then starts to sing off-key and awkwardly do a dance they saw on Tik Tok while the Chinese govt was hacking her financial records?  These are two VERY different scenarios.  

Let's talk about when you want quality.  Champagne is the best quality sparkling wine.  There isn't any real debate.  This is traditional method wine from chardonnay, pinot noir, and pinot meunier from the Champagne region in France.  It costs more because it costs the most to produce and it is the best.  You get what you pay for.  Most cost around $50 at retail.  The majority are worth it.  There is nothing wrong with any of the "big house" champagnes, and a few of them are remarkable quality for the sheer volume that is made.  Veuve Cliquot is a bit sweeter, Perrier Jouet is light and floral.  Bollinger is full and bready.  I recommend Pol Roger, a wine Winston Churchill drank every single day, as  a good middle ground.  There are a zillion little labels, sort of Champagne's indie bands, that make wines of varying quality.  Called "grower champagne", these are small family operations.  Just like indie rock bands, a champagne producer can be ruggedly individual in their approach and still make shitty wine.  Some of them might make something you love but no one else knows about.  AR Lenoble is a good one.    

The quantity road, not to be scoffed at, can include drinking very well with cremant (made the same way as champagne but from different areas of France), cava (Spanish grapes used in the same technique as champagne), prosecco (Italian easy drinking tank method bubbles that keep costs lower) and various sparklers from around the planet.  These are between $12-$25 usually.  I drink a lot of these all year long because, dammit, they taste good!  Cremant is what happened when other areas of France tried to get into the Champagne racket.  They use the same techniques, but because of various factors I won't bore you with, they can't completely re-create it.  That doesn't mean they can't be good.  It reminds me of when I see Japanese garage rock bands that do their version of American trash rock, making their own stamp on something they started out trying to cover like a prom band.  I really like the area of Limoux for great Cremant value.  Aimery Rose is an amazing value and usually about $15.  Try cremants from Albert Bichot (Burgundy) and Klingenfus (Alsace) that offer great value around $20.

Cava is something most teenage girls barf up at parties as their friend holds their hair.  The black bottles of Freixenet are available at every drug store, gas station, and grocery store on the planet.  It is the #1 sparkling wine in the world, at 200 million bottles produced per year.  Cava is astonishingly inexpensive and can be very good quality.  I like Marques de Gelida Reserva, but even standbys like Dibon can be very satisfying at $10.  Cava traditionally uses three Spanish grapes that give a unique aroma that can divide people into a "fuck yeah" and "you got any more of that cremant?" camps.  Give one a try at $10.  I like 'em, especially for parties and weddings.

Prosecco is Italian in every sense of the word.  It is smooth, easy, and relaxing.  I still vividly remember the time I saw a stereotypical prosecco producer in a TV interview.  This guy is EXACTLY what you think an Italian wine mogul would look like in an expensive suit, slicked back long gray hair, designer sunglasses and syrupy charm.  He looks at the female reporter, smiles, and leans in.  "Champagne is very nice but it is complicated.  Prosecco is here to relax and enjoy.  It is beautiful and the best way to enjoy life."  He then smiled at the reporter and took a sip.  I assume he then spent the rest of the afternoon having intercourse with her while opening various proseccos.  The guy had the rap down.    Proseccos can be sweet, off-dry, or somewhere in the middle.  The best ones should theoretically have the name "Conegliano Valdobbiadene" somewhere on the label as it would have been sourced from good hillside vineyards.  Italy makes an ocean of prosecco now, so quality can vary, but it tends to not be out-and-out awful.  Pitars makes some good ones, especially the Extra Dry.  

Asti is made the same way prosecco is, but with the Moscato grape instead of the Glera grape used in prosecco.  It is very sweet, but let me let you in on a secret.  A well made Asti is fucking delicious, however this comes with a caveat.  It's so sweet that after a glass you might go into sugar shock.  Drinking Asti all night is like chugging Mello Yello soda.  That first half glass is awesome, but you are going downhill from there.  A bottle of Asti is perfect if you have someone sitting on your couch that only drinks sugary shit and will only pour your champagne down the sink.  Set them up with some Asti and thank me later.

When I was studying all this for my WSET Diploma, I had to taste my way through all of these sparkling wines to identify them blind.  This led me to bring them to band practice where unlike most bands in our genre, we were drinking Lambruscos, Cremant de Die, and Premier Cru Blanc de Blanc champagnes instead of cans of Pabst.  There was collateral damage however, and this was Sugar became addicted to sparkling wine.  Those of you that are close to Sugar know that she is a lady that likes a value, and will chase a deal sometimes into a dark and dangerous place.  The time she bought "Half Off Cottage Cheese" from a gas station in Indiana immediately comes to mind.  Most people don't know that at one of our Brass Rail shows during the bitter end of The Gary Era, she turned to me with a look of great distress as we struggled to communicate over Gary's 1978 Black Sabbath stage volume.  I waited for the guitar solo and got closer to her.  What???  What!  Did!  You!  Say!?!  Sugar kept playing and yelled in my ear.  "I think I sharted!".

When you see bands talk to each other on stage, 75-85% of the time they are asking each other if the other farted.  I always thought Keith and Mick were talking about cool Rolling Stones shit like if Mick had any models lined up for the after party or if Keith scored any weird drugs that I don't even know the name of.  Instead I think they were discussing the likelihood of the smell on stage being Keith or Bill Wyman.  For the record, I bet it was Bill.  He seems like a constant and deadly Farter.  

I bring this up to let you know that there are many sparkling wines for under $10.  They are almost all total tricks to take your money and will give you horrible sugar induced hangovers.  Sugar, looking for a deal, has chased down many of these rabbit holes into strange French Sparkling Wines and off-region Italian spumantes.  Don't let me even get into Cooks and Korbel.  That's something your girlfriend drank in college when she decided she was going to be more sophisticated, but she only had $20 to get through the weekend.  You remember how that added up, right?  She was giddy from 9p-11p and then barfed from 1130-230a.  Do not heed that sirens call.  Stay off those rocks sailor.  Sugar learned the hard way so you don't have to.

I hope this helps and you have as good a New Year's Eve as possible.  It's sad that Dick Clark isn't still alive for that awkward countdown while Ryan Seacrest gamely waited out his death, but we all need to adjust to our new reality.  Have a Happy New Year, and I hope we see you all soon.

Cheers.

G. Miller

 

Nurse the Hate: Polar Bear Plunge or NFL Week 16

 

I saw a group of teenage boys walking to their cars in bathing suits after doing what I assume was a Polar Bear Plunge in Lake Erie.  They were walking back to their car in a remarkably leisurely pace considering it's 22 degrees and windy.  It reminded me of when Browns coach and noted egomaniac Hue Jackson confidently said he would "jump in the Lake" if the team went 0-16 about two days before he led the team to a historic 0-16 record.  Hue, of course, did not walk off the field after losing the final game, chop a hole in the ice and hop in the water, which would have earned him some grudging respect for being a man of his word. Instead he jumped in the Lake in mid-July the following year in some kind of ham handed "charity event".  That was very Hue Jackson of him.

I have had thoughts of participating in a polar bear plunge in the past.  It is a minor thrill seeking stunt and not the kind of thing that non-Russian nationals enjoy.  There does seem to be a perverse pleasure in sitting in a hut with a wood fire, knocking back vodka, chewing on smoked fish, and doing a cannonball into a slushy hole in a lake.  Conceptually I like the idea of climbing out of the water, pulling on an icy rope and striding like Putin back into my dacha.  The bottom line is I would scream like a little girl, probably have a heart attack, and then my lifeless body would sink to the bottom of the Lake.  You'd see me again around March with a headline of "Pale Bloated Hairy Corpse Washes Up At Huntington Beach, Officials Believe It To Be Body Of Wiseass".  There is little fun to be had in the Winter here on Lake Erie.

All there is left is football.  Betting on these games is difficult enough.  Throw in covid, and it is finding your way in a Funhouse with strobe lights.  The Browns should be able to paste the Jets, who suck so deeply that it is still unbelievable that they beat the Rams last week.  However, the Browns have all 4 rostered wide receivers out with covid, half the line and half of their linebackers.  How the hell can you factor in that loss?  "Hmm... Browns should be favored by 10 but Jarvis Landrey is out due to a shark attack and Higgins is lost at sea, so some guy that hangs out with the team is going to start.  OK... OK... that's worth 4 points I guess."  Yeah.  I am going to pass on that.  The entire planet is on the Colts over Pittsburgh today, but do you really want to bet against Pittsburgh in a must win game at home versus Phillip Rivers?  No way.  The Bears will beat the tanking Jags, but by 9?  You want to give points with the Eagles on the road?  Pass.

I have had a couple winners this weekend with the Saints and Raiders +2.5.  This almost guarantees anything today will be a loser.  The only game I am kidding myself on thinking I have a feel for is that Green Bay v Tennessee game.  Green Bay is the most public of Public Teams.  Dudes in backward ballcaps love betting on Green Bay and the Chiefs.  I try to embrace the concept of "if a dude in a backwards ballcap is doing something, do the opposite".  That is why I did not listen to Nu Metal, go to dance clubs, drive a Jeep Wrangler, own a labrador retriever, or wear Oakley sunglasses.  It has been a basic code of conduct that has rewarded me.  But, dammit, I like the Packers today.

It seems like people got sick of Aaron Rodgers.  I know I did.  I think it is the State Farm commercials 6 times per game X 3 games per week X 18 weeks a year.  That is a lot of Aaron Rodgers being smug.  For some reason, The Public is underrating Green Bay.  They just keep winning, but all the chatter is about the Saints, Seahawks, and the Cowboys.  (The talk is ALWAYS about the Cowboys despite the Cowboys being a better dressed version of the Chargers).  Tennessee seems to have this permanent perception of the team that won playoff games last year.  The Titans have a tough defense, run Henry down your throat, and then Tannehill surprises with a key throw.  The problem is that the Titans have an awful defense, and everyone game plans for Henry.  Tennessee is not an elite team, but rather a better than average team.  Green Bay is elite and Lambeau offers a home field advantage even without fans.  Green Bay -3.    

Season Record:  22-20-1   

                  

Nurse the Hate: Best Life and NFL Week 15

 

I was speaking with The Land Sailor a couple of days ago.  This is a man who has been impacted by The Great Pandemic of 2020 more than almost anyone.  His life is a series of scams to obtain free travel from science agencies to quench his wanderlust.  He has little interest in speaking at conventions unless he discovers it is being held in a previously unvisited corner of the globe where he can leverage great amounts of free time amongst minimal work requirement.  He was quite simply, living the dream.

The problem with being a scientist is understanding the data involving the pandemic.  He knows he cannot gamble with his travel as the data behind the virus is unavoidable.  The more exposure, the greater the certainty of becoming ill with a disease with inconclusive long term effects.  He is now faced with the worst case scenario for his own life.  Stuck in one place with little to no stimulus to hold his interest on a timeline with no certain end.  It's like he has a sentence in a pleasant minimum security prison with no parole hearings on the schedule.

He told me about a friend of his, a woman that is determined to live the millennial ideal of her "best life".  Now I believe the idea of "best life" is really just an excuse to do whatever the fuck you want to at the moment regardless of the circumstances, but then again I have a childhood of Catholicism banged into me.  She, like a few other people I know, is not going to let something like a global pandemic get in the way of her recreation.  She spent a month in Turkey working remotely.  Went kayaking in Costa Rica for a couple weeks.  Had a nice leisurely time baking in the sun in Greece.  Checked out the scene in Dubai.  Her Instagram feed looks like 2018.  There are no apparent precautions or regrets.  Best life.

It reminds me of that scene in Apocalypse Now where Robert Duvall's character Lt Col Kilgore walks around a beach being shelled by the Viet Cong, oblivious to the danger.  Martin Sheen's voiceover says it all.  "You knew he would get though it without a scratch."  I have no doubt whatsoever that The Land Sailor's friend will get through covid without any problems besides slightly sunburned shoulders.  She could sit on a 16 hour flight next to a woman bleeding out any and all of her orifices and hop out of bed the next morning to go surfing.  Meanwhile I will probably get sick for two months just because I walked past someone at Home Depot with a sniffle.  

I think the key to Covid Life is a reasonable amount of confidence.  The less you know, the better off you probably are in 2021.  These Trump flag waving stupid hillbillies down the road from me might have it right.  If you don't believe in it, maybe it just doesn't exist.  I'm stuck in a windowless room typing this while a woman is sailing the Mediterranean smiling from ear to ear.  Why let facts get in the way of a good time?  2021 is all about making your own truth.  

Here's a great example.  The Buffalo Bills are probably the second best team in the AFC right now.  They just bullied the Steelers for a win on national TV, and now they are going to pop on over to Denver to get a quick "W" before the holidays.  This game is a speed bump for the Bills.  That's why I'm on Denver.  I am making my own truth with a team that has covered 3 of their last 4, the only loss where they had to start a practice squad receiver at QB.  This will probably be an ugly game with points at a premium.  Denver +6.5

At this time of year, it is prudent to look for teams that have packed it in.  Ideally I am looking for a matchup of a team that is playing for something going against a team that has packed it in who is starting a backup quarterback.  Bingo.  The Bengals are going to start one of their two shitty backups.  I am hoping for Ryan Finley, a man that has no business cashing an NFL check.  The Bengals face the Steelers, who are coming off their second straight loss.  Defense is about effort, and I think the Steelers put in max effort versus the Bengals this week.  The Washington Football team is going to be forced to start Dwayne Haskins, their season starter that they soured on so completely that they try to pretend he doesn't exist.  Haskins had a buzz about him that he didn't prepare to the level of an NFL QB.  How much prep is he going to put in coming off the bench at a place that has made clear they don't want him?  Seattle meanwhile is playing for the NFC West and potentially the #1 seed.  I am going to take the UNDER in both of these games.  Seattle UNDER 50.5/Pittsburgh UNDER 46.5  

Season Record:  21-19-1   

     

   

Nurse the Hate: My New Shoes and NFL Week 14

 

I have been having all kinds of trouble with my left foot recently.  At any given time I might be in a walking boot or just gimping around.  The most frustrating part about it is that the condition doesn't appear to be directly linked to any action.  For example, if I was ascending Pike's Peak in my North Face Action Vest and multi lace Sport Tracker Adventure Hikers and felt a bit sore the next day I would feel that was just.  I had pushed myself too hard and that was the bill for the experience.  However, the most activity I am involved with now is walking up and down the stairs to my work bunker, a windowless tomb where I play the world's worst video game on my computer, also known as "my job".  I have installed an exercise bike where I meekly pedal away during all "optional" webinars, which are never "optional" but should be labeled "passive aggressively mandatory".  It doesn't seem fair that I have to hobble to the toilet for three days just because I wandered a Target store vainly seeking a replacement mixing bowl set.

As we continue on in The New Dark Ages, the memory of The Olden Times slowly fades like the ripples on a pond after tossing a stone.  I recall jumping around in cowboy boots singing songs I made up with my friends and feeding off the energy of the room.  My dusty cowboy boots stare at me in my closet.  "Why have you abandoned me?  We had such good times together.  Remember when you got me in Spain?"  That was then.  Now I have scheduled a "virtual appointment" with a podiatrist who I assume will charge me $235 to have me lift my foot up to my computer camera, squint into the screen, and then tell me to take anti-inflammatories and "stay off it".  I can tell where this is going.  After my next flare up, I will get back on a Zoom call with the doctor who will recommend some "special shoes".  "I know what you are thinking, but they make some very stylish orthopedic shoes nowadays.  Most people can't even tell you are wearing a medical mobility aide.  I'm going to send you over to Heelers Foot Solutions and get you set up with a pair of Propfit 150s.  Wear those for six months or so, and let's set up another virtual appointment.  By the way, do you still have United Healthcare insurance?".     

I was speaking with a former musical associate who was dealing with a bout of acid reflux.  A couple of guys who not that long ago bounced around Europe playing rock music suddenly find themselves in a much darker place.  I can see it now.  I will invite him over to watch football in my Work Bunker.  He will arrive in his Hazmat suit, the Great Plague still unvanquished.  I will clomp over in my Propfit 150s and offer him a nutrition wafer, a thin graham cracker like rectangle that is the only thing that won't upset his delicate system.  Clomp clomp clomp clomp... "Another nutrition wafer buddy?"  The only thing left will be gambling, rich rewarding NFL gambling.  

This week I like the Buffalo Bills chances.  The Steelers find themselves having to play their third game in 11 days.  They just lost their perfect season when they ran out of gas against a meek Washington team.  Now they have to deal with Buffalo, quietly one of the elite teams in the NFL.  Pittsburgh has that scent of a team that peaked too early.  This reminds me of that Peyton Manning Broncos team that went undefeated, lost a game and then dropped two of three.  There are too many things working against the Steelers this week.  Buffalo +2

God help me, I am taking Cleveland over Baltimore.  Look, Lamar's stat line looked good last week, but that was against Dallas, a team that is injury depleted, has given up, and has the worst defensive coordinator in football.  Watching that game last week I was taken by how many times Jackson missed easy passes.  He is not the MVP of 2019.  There is also a correlation between Jackson's decreased production and when teams see him the second time.  The Ravens are scuffling right now.  The last thing they need is to play a surging (yeah, I said it) Browns team that will be motivated to avenge their opening week embarrassment.  In the last six weeks, the Browns have the #6 offense and the #7 defense.  The Ravens are sitting #22.  Not only do you get the Browns, you get points?  Cleveland +2

Philadelphia is a train wreck.  Their offensive line is a disaster, so much so that Carson Wentz is a shell of the probable MVP player he was a few years ago.  The official diagnosis is that Wentz "has the yips", which is the catch all to signify "he can't play well anymore".  I can understand it.  Every offensive play in Philly is the same.  Snap the ball.  One one thousand, two one thousand, Wentz gets hit from multiple directions by violent dinosaurs.  Not to worry.  Philadelphia management has a solution.  They are going to take Jalen Hurts, a rookie that most scouts feel was a reach to be taken in Round 2, and toss him out for his first start against the elite New Orleans Saints defense.  When we saw this movie previously, the Broncos started a wide receiver at QB that went 1-9 for 13 yards and two INTs.  Now I don't think Hurts will do that poorly as playing QB is what he does professionally, but he's not beating the Saints.  New Orleans -6.5     

Season Record:  20-17-1

Nurse the Hate: The Trouble with Math and NFL Week 13

The outgoing President of the United States continues to contend he did not lose the election, an election he lost by 7 million votes.  The GOP Congress refuses to say Biden won the election, but also won't come out and say that Trump won either.  That is a tricky tightrope to walk as math tends to be very black and white.  I can't figure out if Trump thinks he can pull off the worst planned coup of all time, or if he is so delusional that he actually believes he won the election.  Trump's niece contends that Donald can make himself believe anything as long as he emerges as either the victim or the winner, but once again math makes the self delusion in this case VERY difficult.  It's like if the 49ers refused to concede that they lost last year's Super Bowl to Kansas City.  

Kyle Shanahan could have done a post game press conference where he rambled on and held up charts.  "As you can see here, at the end of the third quarter we were leading 20-10.  How is it possible that we lost 31-20?  Many people are saying that we won this game, many good people.  People are saying that the scoreboard was manipulated by a dead Venezuelan President and hackers from Ukraine.  We had a big victory parade planned... huge... bigger than anyone has ever seen...  This was rigged.  We won the Super Bowl."

After Shanahan refused to concede, the rest of the NFC refuses to recognize the Chiefs as having won the title, but also don't come out and say that SF won either worried that Shanahan will send out a mean tweet about them if they say the wrong thing.  Jerry Jones gets a microphone in his face on his way out of a plastic surgery appointment.  "Well, that was a close game and we will need to review the tape again before we give that trophy to anyone.  The League will need to review it very carefully.  There is a process and the 49ers have every right to ask for this process.  We will see what happens.  We look forward to congratulating whoever it was that won that Super Bowl."  Meanwhile Patrick Mahomes is holding the trophy above his head.

Rudy Giuliani finds a bunch of kooks and hauls them out onto ESPN.  There's a guy that watched the game at home and remembers San Francisco being up 34-31 at the end of the game, but admits he might be confusing it with a Seahawks game he went to three years ago with his brother.  A woman starts yelling at all the ESPN anchors and contends "there was cheating" but can't name anything specifically.  A man says that he was in the scoreboard operator's room and saw the operator adding points to the Chiefs total but it turns out he was in jail for child molestation during the game.  Rudy farts on Sage Steele.  A third of Americans believe that the 49ers are rightfully Super Bowl champs.  

This is an odd time.  Truth doesn't have any place in our day-to-day world any longer.  It doesn't even seem that odd that a giant slice of the country is walking around convinced that Trump won an election he decisively lost by 7 million (with an "m") votes.  In fact, it was the only predictable outcome.  There are people in all of our communities that are living in an alternate reality convinced that YOU are the crazy one.  I wonder if OAN has a sports page.  If they do, the Broncos probably beat the Saints last week when Trump came in to toss five touchdowns.

That's the great thing about the NFL.  It's one of the only things that is a certainty.  The whole country might have covid, but we are lacing them up every Sunday.  God bless America.  It really is one of my last few pleasures in this pandemic nightmare of boredom and anxiety fueled fatigue.  I know that every Sunday the Jets are going to lose, the Chiefs are going to win, and the Chargers will blow a game they should have won.  It's my rock.  Yet, with covid as a new variable, the almost impossible task of picking 55% winners in the NFL has gotten much more difficult.  Still, there are winners to be had.

Let's talk Lions.  I have had a "don't bet the Lions" policy after I saw them stink up the joint against the Packers in September.  This is a solid piece of advice, like "don't touch a hot stove" or "don't lend Leo your car" that most adults just instinctively know to be true.  Before he died, Jimmy the Greek said "No one ever got rich betting the Lions".  It's true.  Look it up.  

The Lions this week fired coach Matt Patricia.  This was a good move as he appeared to be terrible at coaching football.  The players all hated him.  He was one of those guys that because he worked for the Patriots swaggered around like he was Bill Belichick.  That's like current Rolling Stones bass player Darryl Jones walking around being an asshole taking credit for writing "Sympathy For The Devil".  Lions receiver Kenny Golliday "liked" the firing announcement the team made online.  That's not a great sign.

The Lions have placed the Offensive Coordinator in as temporary coach.  No one considers him to be a serious candidate for the coaching gig.  This week the Lions face the fading Bears, and I have to think they are going to be playing loose as a goose.  An OC that gets the reins is going to pull out every trick play, wide open bullshit offense thing he can find to prove he should get consideration as the head coach and resulting windfall of cash.  I see plenty of scoring, even from the shitty Bears offense.  Give me Lions/Bears OVER 45 as I can't bring myself to bet on the Lions themselves.

Interesting stat I heard.  In the last 4 games, teams are blitzing Arizona/Kyle Murray 42% of all snaps, up from 18% from all previous games.  During that span, the Cards are down 12 points a game in scoring and 125 yards in offense.  They are also 1-3 and should be 0-4 except for that Hail Mary against Buffalo.  It's what Pete Carroll did, and it's what Bill Belichick did.  It seems the NFL has figured out how to stop Murray.  I bet Boy Genius noticed too.  Now the Cards get Aaron Donald and the Rams great defense upfront.  Oh yeah, Murray has a hurt shoulder and is less likely than ever to run.  I'd like the Rams -2.5 please.  

Season Record:  18-17-1