Saturday, September 27, 2008

Nurse the Hate: Hate Confusion

This election is very confusing, isn't it? The best marketing minds in the country are hard at work to confuse your Aunt Janice, and make sure she doesn't get too involved with any facts. They want her to vote for "Change" or maybe "Experience". Maybe she'll vote for that McCain fella because that running mate of his reminds her of "that cute as can be Rachel Ray". Maybe she won't vote for that Obama guy because "that name sounds Arab, and why are his lips kinda purple like he just wolfed down a blueberry pie?"

It's all very confusing.

Here's the way I see it. Let's immediately dispatch with the notion that either of these two political parties care about YOU. They don't. At all. It's all a power and cash grab, and they'll play it any way necessary to get at the golden goose. The window dressing of "Republican" and "Democrat" is the pretty wrapping paper. People lose their minds during elections and don't let facts get in the way of their pre conceived notions. "If the Democrats get elected, we'll all have to give our entire paychecks to taxes so they can give it over to crackhead unwed mothers! We won't have any money for defense and terrorists will go to the mall and blow up Foot Locker!" Or the other side of the coin, "The Republicans will put Adam and Eve on the dollar bill, make anyone with less than $10 million dollars of net worth slaves to a multi national corporation, and begin a Blitzkreig on any nation that dares to question us. I know for a fact that a Neo Con think tank has already drafted up a battle plan to invade Nova Scotia!".

Let's really break it down. There's an Old Guy with this loony soccer Mom. She's kinda hot, but is clearly a dope. The Old Guy is friends with the guys that were in charge when the Trade Center was destroyed, we launched two wars without exit plans, and over eight years destroyed the economy. OK, that's not good. In fact, it's pretty bad... There's this charismatic Younger Guy with an old guy that people don't like very much. The Young Guy doesn't have a lot of experience at this level. The Old Guy keeps saying over and over again that the Young Guy doesn't have the experience that the Old Guy does. I guess that's true. But I think the key point is that it seems impossible that the Young Guy and his friends could possibly fuck it up worse than the Old Guy and his friends. I think any reasonable thinking person has to say, "Well, this Old Guy does have experience. And his experience is in fucking everything up. We better give those other guys a shot and see what happens."

Random Notes: A few locks for this weekend include Wisconsin -6.5. Michigan is really going through a transition, and showed how bad they were losing to Notre Dame convincingly last week. That brings me to Purdue +1.5 over Notre Dame. The Irish blow and Charlie Weiss is fatter that Romeo Crennel (although he must be a better leader)...Alabama +7 I don't see Georgia winning this game with their young and injured O line. Alabama seems like the real deal as they have been blowing out everyone so far...Give me Minnesota +19 over Ohio State. OSU doesn't look like they can beat anybody by 19...Auburn -270 money line over Tennessee. Tennessee lost to UCLA. What more needs to be said? Think they'll go on the road and win at Auburn? I don't... Penn State -15.5 over Illinois. Penn State scores at will, and I think this is an easy cover...In the NFL, get on Denver with the money line, SF/NO over 48.5, Tampa/GB over 43, and Carolina -6. Wow, you're going to be rich with these plays! Thank me Monday. So far this year, Nurse the Hate is 6-4 vs The Spread.


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