Friday, October 31, 2008

Nurse the Hate: Don't Hate the Spoils

After cashing in on my Phillies World Series pick at +125, I’m a cool 11-1 in my last 12. That’s sick, and I’m telling you right now it can’t keep going on forever. For those of you that haven’t jumped on this run, I pity you. As far as I can tell, this has been the only way to make money in the last 45 days in the United States (unless you are selling political advertising or involved in selling illegal diet medication of course). I am currently typing this in my new Villa in Antigua while having my back massaged by some Dutch expat ex-nanny who’s name is an impossible array of consonants like “Krjt” (I think), while some slender chain smoking Asian guy that only communicates by nodding is readying my speedboat. It’s been a good run. A real good run. Will this weekend be the end of a run? Who the hell knows! I’m doing the only smart thing and putting it all on the line. Let’s get out there and swing for the fences!

78% of the gambling community is on Navy -7 over Temple. Immediately, I think Temple is the way to go. When you think of Temple, two things come to mind…Bill Cosby and terrible football. This year is a little different as Temple is “kinda sucky” instead of “put a stop to this” bad. On top of that, Navy doesn’t beat anybody big. I can’t believe I am writing this, but I’m getting on Temple +7…Northwestern’s star running back busted his arm last week, and their QB’s hamstring is being held together with some kind of super glue/voodoo combination. When those two guys were out last week, it looked like some East Coast JV high school team trying to move the ball versus the 1985 Bears. I think Northwestern’s QB’s hammy snaps like a twig, and they get back to playing JV ball. Take Minnesota -6.5…How do I put this professionally? Florida has been beating the total fucking shit out of everybody unfortunate to take the field with them lately. Georgia, on the other hand, has looked pretty average of late. Take the momentum and the Gators -5.5…If you need some action on the 8pm game, get on Texas -3.5. Texas Tech scores like crazy, and they are a blast to watch. However, these guys are like the little brother to Texas. Texas Tech gets to recruit all the kids Texas doesn’t want. Does that make them hungry? Yes. Does that make them not as talented? Also, yes. I bet Texas Tech hangs tough through the first half, and loses in the 4th quarter.

As we have all learned together, the NFL is a horrible and savage beast. Up is down, down is up. Nothing ever makes sense, and everyone is wrong about everything. With that in mind, take Seattle +6.5 over Philly. Every single person you know is on the Eagles this week. Look out the window right now. See that old lady walking the dog? She’s got 2G’s on the Eagles, and probably tied it into the over like a goddamn amateur. Come Monday she’ll be trying to sell her wedding ring to cover the vig and get some action down on the late game to try and cover her nut. Don’t fall in with The Rubes. Take the apparently talent less and broken Seahawks + 6.5… I’m all over the Houston/Minnesota under 47. Minnesota is coming off a bye week. The week before the bye they got lit up for 48 by the Bears. (Yes, the Bears with Kyle Orton under center. Still seems like a misprint, doesn’t it?) Anyway, these guys have something to prove, and are at home. In the Dome, the under is 19-9-1 in the last 29 games. I expect a heavy running game, and a running clock. Hope someone can cover Andre Johnson, and take the under.


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