Thursday, October 22, 2009

Nurse the Hate: Music For Bad Kids

As many people know, I am a bit of an "idea man". I like to look for economic opportunity. Recently I had a brainstorm which I am fairly certain is a multi million dollar winner of an idea. You know how kids entertainment is a huge industry? I'm not talking 12 year olds. Think real opportunity. Let's talk about the 5 year old market and their spending power. For example, I think those guys in The Wiggles make $72 Billion a year despite the fact they seem exactly like the creepy pedophiles parents try to protect their kids from. Baby Einstein videos? Throw those on at the next rave and fire the affected DJ coming in from the Coast. It's a rain of money...

The one thing that is a constant is that all young children's entertainment is inherently "good". It's all smiles and rewards for good behavior. That's where I see the niche. Where is the Bad Boy group catering to the 2-6 year old crowd? Don't they need a voice? Hence my big idea... A band of young bad kids singing the songs bad young kids want to hear... I introduce you to my new Supergroup... "Ominously Heavy Diaper".

Ominously Heavy Diaper, or "OHD" to the fans, will speak the language of the rebellious 3 year old. Songs like "Poo Poo Time", "No Peas, More Applesauce", and "Wipe My Ass (now)" delivered in a doom rock post-Melvins style will be the Raffi of the new Millennium. This is an entertainment vehicle that speaks to today's freshly mobile pre-toilet hipster. Laugh now, but someone laughed at the Telletubby's too.

Random Notes: I have split almost all my football for the last 2 weeks. With 10% going to the juice, that's no good. It's time to turn it around. I really like Ohio State to deliver a post Purdue loss ass kicking to Minnesota. Take the Buckeyes minus the points... Trent Edwards is out with a concussion. Ryan Fitzpatrick, the Bengals QB in last year's "lost season" allegedly has the swine flu. That means this week's starter is going to be either Gary Danielson or the guy that parks cars in the East Parking Lot. Either way, I have a hard time believing the Bills can score more than 13 points. That puts me on the under... Twelve guys on the Browns have the flu. Most of them are starters. They just lost their leading tackler in D'Qwell Jackson. Vegas and the public may overreact and move the line too far this week. The Browns v Green Bay game is currently off the board. If the line goes to Cle +9 at home, take a flier on it... You are a fool if you don't get the Sadies with John Doe record. Doe's awesome voice mixed with the Sadies confident country playing are a surefire hit.


At October 24, 2009 at 9:40:00 PM EDT , Blogger Dave L. said...

Ominously Heavy Diaper?
That is some inspired shit right there!


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