Nurse the Hate: Hate the Pothole

I was almost knocked unconscious by the impact I made on a pothole on East 22nd Street on downtown Cleveland this morning. Being a responsible member of my community, I dropped my appropriate government employee a quick letter to get this situation resolved. I would think this will be handled by lunch tomorrow...

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Randell T. Scott
Assistant Director of Streets
Cleveland City Hall
601 Lakeside Ave
Room 25
Cleveland OH 44115

Mr. Scott,

I just wanted to drop you a quick note to alert you to a couple of potholes on East 22nd Street between Woodland and Carnegie. I would imagine that you are probably already aware of them, as the only way two holes of this size could have been created is undoubtedly by some sort of mortar attack on downtown Cleveland. Truthfully, I don’t remember any media coverage of The City of Cleveland bearing the brunt of some sort of clandestine guerrilla military action, but I do travel frequently and perhaps it just slipped past my notice. The world is a dangerous place, and things happen in seemingly random fashion. How else can you explain things like credit default swaps, chimp attacks, and the continued musical career of Kiss?

Normally I don’t write letters to government offices. Frankly, who has the time? However, I did hit that nasty hole in the center lane at 25 mph this morning and became concerned I lost my left rear molar on impact. That would have been a real shame. Not just because it would have significantly lessened my ability to effectively chew food, but also because I have spent a ton of dough on a crown back there. It’s not like I could go into the dentist and ask for some kind of refund with my broken tooth in hand. Plus, I’m the kind of guy that likes to chew on an apple every now and again. That becomes much less enjoyable with a gaping hole in your jaw where your molar used to be comfortably anchored.

Incredibly, I consider myself somewhat lucky. Pothole number two is the one to have real concerns about, the one by the manhole cover next to the Juvenile Court. If a child falls in there, you may need to send out some sort of rescue helicopter with a winch, or maybe a team of expert cave explorers to get that kid out of there. Sure, some of those kids filing into court do have a real scent of lifelong failure to them, but you never know. They could turn it around. It probably does give those little rascals in their “court ties” a moment of levity before facing the music inside court though. “Hey, it could be worse. I could have fallen into that crevice and never be heard from again. Now let me go in that courtroom and turn my life around!”

Hopefully you can send a crew out there and get that taken care of. Yes, I know the city infrastructure is crumbling like downtown Havana. Yes, there aren’t enough resources. I know. I work in Midtown where I stare out the window at the mentally ill, economically challenged and the undeniable criminal element. Still, I have to think we can at least meet the standards of a Third World country in quality of roads, no? On a long list of priorities, can you move this particular issue closer to the top?

Regards,



Greg Miller
P.O. Box 771101
Lakewood OH 44107