Nurse the Hate: The Ambulence
It was on 18 December when
Jim Stevens had a stroke. Jim worked three cubicles over from Roger’s own work
station at the insurance company for the past seven years. They were probably beyond “work acquaintances”
but still short of “friends”. This much was known… Jim had two children, a boy and a girl. Jim’s
wife Susan was very active at the children’s school. Jim worked out four days a
week and had recently taken up spinning. He was an ordinary man doing ordinary things. He
appeared quite healthy. He collapsed
from his chair in the early afternoon.
Someone called an ambulance. Lisa
from accounting kept saying “shouldn’t someone do something?” over and over
until the paramedics arrived. When they
carried him out, he had a plastic oxygen mask over much of this face. Employees
looked on from a safe distance very quietly whispering to one another. After 45
minutes of spirited discussion replaying the event, work resumed and things returned
to routine. Everything was back to normal. This
was when Roger made his bold decision.
Roger quit his job at the company the next week. He was expecting to face pleading for him to stay. He had rehearsed his responses in his mind. Instead the company accepted his resignation without fanfare. They had a small sheet cake on his last day. Everyone signed a greeting card with variations of “good luck”. He sold his house and moved to Austin Texas. He had decided to invent a new version of himself there. He would wash the past clean. He bought all new clothes. He changed his name from Roger to Jim. This was partly as a tribute to his debilitated work friend. It was also a reference to when the Byrd’s Roger McGuinn had changed his name to Jim at the height of the Byrds success. Roger/Jim suspected that Roger McGuinn‘s name change had more to do with peyote induced hallucinations than anything else, but he maintained great reverence for both the Byrds and McGuinn. He was Jim now. No matter what, he pictured that it would make for a good story he could tell at parties.
Roger quit his job at the company the next week. He was expecting to face pleading for him to stay. He had rehearsed his responses in his mind. Instead the company accepted his resignation without fanfare. They had a small sheet cake on his last day. Everyone signed a greeting card with variations of “good luck”. He sold his house and moved to Austin Texas. He had decided to invent a new version of himself there. He would wash the past clean. He bought all new clothes. He changed his name from Roger to Jim. This was partly as a tribute to his debilitated work friend. It was also a reference to when the Byrd’s Roger McGuinn had changed his name to Jim at the height of the Byrds success. Roger/Jim suspected that Roger McGuinn‘s name change had more to do with peyote induced hallucinations than anything else, but he maintained great reverence for both the Byrds and McGuinn. He was Jim now. No matter what, he pictured that it would make for a good story he could tell at parties.
Jim/Roger rented a dilapidated
house in what was called “an emerging neighborhood”. The neighborhood was
filled with artists, musicians, baristas and a few stubborn Mexicans which refused
to be gentrified out. He liked how different this was than his old life. He went
to shows and art openings. He began to
see a woman he met from the neighborhood that described herself as “strong” and
“no-nonsense”. She was actually blunt and pointlessly cruel, but Jim/Roger hadn’t
reached that conclusion yet. He liked
her accent which distracted him from her damaged persona. She wrote angry poetry and recited them to
her cats. Jim/Roger, who was a “dog
person”, should have known their relationship was doomed for failure. As is well documented, dog people should not
mix with cat people.
When Jim/Roger began to run out
of money, he began to ratchet up his job search. He was unable to secure even an interview in
what he believed to be exciting and emerging business sectors. He finally relented and began to search for a job in
his old industry of insurance. He found
work in a small office. His pay was
slightly below industry standard. He got
a cubicle near a window. He slowly began
to make friends with the man in the next cubicle. His name was Robert. He had two boys and a wife that was active in
the boy’s school. He enjoyed mountain
biking. He appeared to be in good
health.
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