Trouble For The Land Bridge and NFL Week 8

 

I have great concern about the great Land Bridge project.  I had planned on spending most of my time just hanging out on The Land Bridge with an occasional frisbee toss with all the other folks congregating there, but now that seems uncertain.  The good folks in the Haslam Family, pillars in the community really, have decided to sue the city of Cleveland to get out of the contract they knowingly entered into with the city when purchasing the team.  Part of the deal with owning a pro sports franchise in Ohio is that after Art Modell pulled the team out into Baltimore, the state passed a law to prevent that from happening again.  It prohibits Ohio-based pro teams that use a “tax-supported facility for most of its home games” and that “receive financial assistance” from playing home games “elsewhere.” Compliance with the law requires (among other things) a team to receive government consent and offer the team for sale to local buyers. 

The Haslam Family, just a super group of folks, bought the team for $1B in 2012.  The team is now valued at $5B.  They play in a publicly funded stadium that taxpayers paid for, and made $94M in profit last year.  They came up with a little scheme which they unveiled with great fanfare to build a "complex" out by the airport that will include a domed stadium and "retail space" (which I assume means a Browns team shop, some shitty chain restaurants, and maybe a Lids location).  The great news is that this stadium will just be an economic windfall for ALL OF US, so all we need to do is give the Haslams $1B that they won't pay back and not make them pay tax on the money they make there.  The great news is that they have assured the public via their press announcement of this project that it will be a regional WONDERLAND with 70 events a year.  10 Browns games, a Taylor Swift type show, maybe Billy Joel or the Stones will keep going, and ahh...ahh... ahh...  Well, that seems like it adds up to 70, so it's fine.  

Normally I'd say, "Fuck you guys.  You made $4B in 12 years and you're clearing $100M a year in profits.  Build that fiasco yourselves.".  However, they knew when they bought the team what the deal was... You have a team that has to play their games in the city of Cleveland.  That's the deal.  But is $4B in profit enough?  Nope.  Time to employ an army of lawyers and see if you can weasel out of the deal, somehow jam the public into building a sure-fire economic loser, con your way into developing the lakefront land you left behind, and continue to put the worst winning percentage team in major American sports onto the field for everyone's trouble.  Who are these people and what happened to their souls?  "We need another $1B, so let's jam the city that has made us this rich and see if we can take the money they already don't have away from infrastructure, schools and social services.  After that I can get cracking on making more genius football moves."  They are the absolute worst. 

That being said, I am nervously taking the Browns this week.  The Browns are totally fucked.  They have no QB, no money to get a new one in the next three years, have all kinds of offensive line problems, and don't have any impact players on offense.  However, I have to think that ANYONE is going to bring more to the table than DeShaun Watson for the offense.  Look, the team knew way before the rest of us that Watson didn't want to play football any longer, he just wanted to go shopping.  There has to be a sigh of relief from the entire building when Watson was gone.  This is a great spot for the Browns to get that "first game now that the problem is gone" lift from Winston against a poor Ravens pass defense.  I can't see the Browns winning, but I think they can keep a divisional opponent within one score at home.  I got on this early.  Cleveland +9.5

Arizona is on a short week, on the road, West Coast going to East Coast for a 1p kickoff against a Miami team that has Tua back.  I expect the Dolphins to look like a totally different team than what we've seen with the various driftwood they've had starting at QB.  I'm pretty sure Miami sorta sucks, but Arizona has to be worse.  In this spot, if the Dolphins lose, they're done.  That coach is "fun guy" when they're a winning team.  If they go down in flames, he's going to look like a fucking clown.  Miami -4  

There are a couple of crappy teams that are getting too many points this week.  Carolina is getting 11 in Denver.  ELEVEN AGAINST A DENVER TEAM THAT CAN'T SCORE.  However, Bryce Young is getting the Panthers start, and he's burned me too many times.  I just can't do it.  I am out of the Panthers business.  A similar game is that Tennessee game where they're getting 11.5.  It's a great spot for the Titans, but I just don't know if I can do it.  That fuckstick Levis has jammed me up so many times, and even if Rudolf is starting it's not like I'm overbrimming with confidence.  "Mason Rudolf is starting on the road against the Lions.  Let me gather all my money and run to the betting window.", said No One Ever.  The Lions are coming off two really big games for them, a revenge game v Dallas and then last week vs the Vikings.  It's totally a flat spot, but the Titans?  Man...  Maybe I tease Tennessee up to 17.5?  I don't know...  

I'm going to take the Bengals at home -2.5 against the Eagles.  Philadelphia seems like a mess.  The coach is yelling at the fans.  The QB doesn't like the coach.  They can't score in the first half like they did last year which allowed them to play to their strengths and play from the lead.  If Cincinnati can win the first quarter, I think they'll win the game.  I'm still not sure if they're any good, but their losses are to good teams in close games.  Gimme Cincinnati -2.5.    

Current Record:  9-11