Saturday, November 21, 2009

Nurse the Hate: Tattoo Story

A guy I worked with told me the story of a tattoo his father got. In the late 60s his Dad was in the Navy serving in Vietnam. He and his buddies go on leave in Japan and get absolutely shitfaced. (Don't all Navy stories start like this?) The guys somehow get back to their ship and wake up the next morning with tattoos. He looks down and discovers that above his nipples he has had tattooed "sweet" on the right and "sour" on the left. (Printed, not script. I asked.)

His father gets out of the Navy, becomes Born Again, and lives in Kentucky. Now, no matter how hot it gets in the Summer, he never removes his shirt in fear of exposing his ink. 95 degrees and doing yard work? Shirt stays on. Church picnic at the lake? No thanks! Don't feel like swimming today. Personally, I think Jesus would be OK with the humor of it, but as you know, my credentials in religious matters are spotty at best. The big question for me was, why not just get it removed? "He's too Goddamn cheap!".

The moral of the story? Maybe it's "Don't get a jokey tattoo". Maybe it's "Don't become Born Again". I'm going to think about it and get back to you...

Locks of the weekend: I am shocked that Penn State is only giving three to Michigan State. These are the late season games Penn State usually wins to insure some big money Bowl Game appearance. Meanwhile Michigan State is my most hated team in NCAA Football, as I never know what they're going to do on any given week. Let's go with Penn State -3 to buck the possibility of Mich St coming up big. In their hearts, those guys are losers...I think Oregon is going to kick the crap out of Arizona tonight. Oregon is for real. That's a double digit cover... I don't think the Giants will lose yet another game. Despite the fact they have looked fairly awful, they should still handle the Falcons (minus Michael Turner) at home. I don't know if they cover though. Take NYG on the money line... I never thought I'd be taking the Lions and giving points, but I am. The Browns are the worst pro football team I have ever seen, and I remember the expansion era Tampa Bay Bucs. It seems impossible the Browns can score on anyone at any time. There will need to be such a bizarre confluence of events for Cleveland to put more than 17 on the board, I can't imagine it. They would need a combination of interceptions for touchdowns, blocked punts, kickoff returns, and maybe an earthquake to make that happen. I'm on Detroit -3.5... I don't have any tangible reason to think so, but take a flier on Kansas City +10 vs Pittsburgh. The Steelers win, but they never really win big. KC plays well at home, and they have been improving week to week. What the hell? How else can you stay interested in that game?


At November 25, 2009 at 12:46:00 AM EST , Blogger Brandonio! said...

My vote is goes to not becoming born again!


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