Nurse the Hate: The Chicago Bears and Randy Bachman
It’s time to swagger into the weekend after last week’s
triumphant turn of events. I would
like to note that I will be scaling back the size of the wager so as to not
develop a large gambling problem, and keep it comfortably nestled into the
“small gambling problem” area. I
think we can all agree if a series of four digit wagers go wrong and you have
to sell your car, it’s hard to look like a happening guy on an inner city RTA
Bus. "I'm coming over. What's your address again? Are you on the RTA Red line? OK, see you in an hour and a half."
Still, I do feel as if I have
more control on a wild ass NFL football wager than on any of my mutual funds in
my 401K, so maybe we’ll meet in the middle on the size of the play. If I lose, I will point to “factors out
of my control” like those stockbroker assholes do and shrug it off. It’s shocking I feel more comfortable
taking financial advice from Mike “The Lizard” Mancuso than some schmo in a
$1000 Brooks Brothers suit. At
least “The Lizard” will tell you he blew the game, whereas I don’t ever recall
a financial advisor saying “I totally misread the market. It turns out people are going to buy
lots of Apple Computers. We should
have bought lots of that stock when you brought that up to us. Sorry Greg. We blew that one.”
Let’s get into things that we have total control over. Things like the Cincinnati
Bengals. I really like Cincinnati
this week. Cincinnati will break
your heart like a prom date, and I realize this. I am still going into this with my arms spread open with
nothing but love and forgiveness from what they have done to me in the past. My beloved San Diego Chargers lost a
heartbreaking game last week where they somehow allowed a 4th and 29
conversion at the end of regulation send the game into OT. There’s something you don’t see
everyday. From there, they of
course lost as Chargers coach Norv Turner once again takes his and loses to yours (or he’ll
take yours and lose to his). I
have to believe that San Diego will have no motivation out there as the players
will be focused on fish tacos, off season vacation plans, and not getting hurt. You ever been to San Diego? It’s a lot more fun when you
aren’t in a cast or wearing a knee brace.
Cincinnati -1.5 all day long.
People in Chicago are very excited about the Bears. They are always excited about the
Bears, but this year especially so.
This is setting themselves up for disappointment. The Bears are pretty good, but let’s
not lose our minds. Jay Cutler is
running for his life every week, and eventually some big scary guys are going
to go beyond giving him a concussion and will instead leave his brains leaking
out of his helmet like a squashed melon.
The Bears have so many injuries that I believe they just signed Randy
Bachman of Bachman Turner Overdrive to play Right Tackle, although that may
just be a wild Internet rumor.
While I know that Seattle last won on the road in 1978 on a
soggy field at RFK stadium after a Humble Pie concert, I think they will stay
within three points against the Bears.
This flies right in the face of the fact that the Seahawks only cover
33% of the time on the road. But I
did look up the fact that the Pete Carroll Seahawks have covered 13 of 16 as an
underdog. This may also be a wild unsubstantiated Internet rumor. I think these two teams
will try to run and play field position and keep the score low. That’s where having that extra half
point is large. Take Seattle +3.5.
Current Record Vs The Spread: 7-8-1
2 Comments:
Drink a big glass of fuck?
Bravo!
You don't mind if I use that, do you?
It's what I am here for amigo.
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