Friday, November 30, 2012

Nurse the Hate: The Chicago Bears and Randy Bachman

It’s time to swagger into the weekend after last week’s triumphant turn of events.  I would like to note that I will be scaling back the size of the wager so as to not develop a large gambling problem, and keep it comfortably nestled into the “small gambling problem” area.  I think we can all agree if a series of four digit wagers go wrong and you have to sell your car, it’s hard to look like a happening guy on an inner city RTA Bus.  "I'm coming over.  What's your address again?  Are you on the RTA Red line?  OK, see you in an hour and a half."  

Still, I do feel as if I have more control on a wild ass NFL football wager than on any of my mutual funds in my 401K, so maybe we’ll meet in the middle on the size of the play.  If I lose, I will point to “factors out of my control” like those stockbroker assholes do and shrug it off.  It’s shocking I feel more comfortable taking financial advice from Mike “The Lizard” Mancuso than some schmo in a $1000 Brooks Brothers suit.  At least “The Lizard” will tell you he blew the game, whereas I don’t ever recall a financial advisor saying “I totally misread the market.  It turns out people are going to buy lots of Apple Computers.  We should have bought lots of that stock when you brought that up to us.  Sorry Greg.  We blew that one.” 

Let’s get into things that we have total control over.  Things like the Cincinnati Bengals.  I really like Cincinnati this week.  Cincinnati will break your heart like a prom date, and I realize this.  I am still going into this with my arms spread open with nothing but love and forgiveness from what they have done to me in the past.  My beloved San Diego Chargers lost a heartbreaking game last week where they somehow allowed a 4th and 29 conversion at the end of regulation send the game into OT.  There’s something you don’t see everyday.  From there, they of course lost as Chargers coach Norv Turner once again takes his and loses to yours (or he’ll take yours and lose to his).  I have to believe that San Diego will have no motivation out there as the players will be focused on fish tacos, off season vacation plans, and not getting hurt.  You ever been to San Diego?  It’s a lot more fun when you aren’t in a cast or wearing a knee brace.  Cincinnati -1.5 all day long.

People in Chicago are very excited about the Bears.  They are always excited about the Bears, but this year especially so.  This is setting themselves up for disappointment.  The Bears are pretty good, but let’s not lose our minds.  Jay Cutler is running for his life every week, and eventually some big scary guys are going to go beyond giving him a concussion and will instead leave his brains leaking out of his helmet like a squashed melon.  The Bears have so many injuries that I believe they just signed Randy Bachman of Bachman Turner Overdrive to play Right Tackle, although that may just be a wild Internet rumor. 

While I know that Seattle last won on the road in 1978 on a soggy field at RFK stadium after a Humble Pie concert, I think they will stay within three points against the Bears.  This flies right in the face of the fact that the Seahawks only cover 33% of the time on the road.  But I did look up the fact that the Pete Carroll Seahawks have covered 13 of 16 as an underdog.  This may also be a wild unsubstantiated Internet rumor.  I think these two teams will try to run and play field position and keep the score low.  That’s where having that extra half point is large.  Take Seattle +3.5.

Current Record Vs The Spread:  7-8-1


At November 30, 2012 at 1:52:00 PM EST , Blogger Walter Zoomie said...

Drink a big glass of fuck?
You don't mind if I use that, do you?

At December 2, 2012 at 10:00:00 AM EST , Blogger Greg Miller said...

It's what I am here for amigo.


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