Friday, September 30, 2016

Nurse the Hate: Hate London NFL Games



Once again the NFL has somehow managed to send a terrible game to London.  How is this a good promotional event?  When the NFL sends these games over to London to win over the completely oblivious Brits to suddenly embrace American Football, one would think they would send a good game as opposed to the Colts vs the Jags.  Even America’s most degenerate gamblers get a glazed expression on their face when they think of this game.  This must be some sort of Brexit payback.  I would like to formally apologize to the good people of England for sending this over there.  This is the worst thing we have exported to them since Subway Sandwich Shops. 

The poor Brits…  I can’t imagine being over there showering in my tiny ineffective shower, making a spot of tea, calling a cookie a “biscuit”, walking around in the rain, stopping in at the pub after riding a double-decker bus, having a warm pint, thinking about getting some Indian takeout, talking about the Queen, walking around in the rain some more, and then thinking “I should call my mates in their flat to see if they want to see the Jags play the Colts”.  I would definitely prefer having a sherry with me mum, look at nudie pictures of some birds in the The Sun while riding in The Tube and maybe eating some fish n’ chips instead of gambling on this completely unpredictable road game.  How can one know if the Jags defensive backfield is looking at the game plan or taking selfies at Buckingham Palace?  Is Frank Gore relaxing in his tiny hotel room or is he getting fitted for an overpriced suit in Savile Row?  I’m steering clear of that game though I will probably turn it on in the morning and have a very Brit “lie in” while it washes over me.  Maybe at halftime I will have a proper fry up.  Who bloody knows?

I will tell you this.  I am going to really tempt the fates.  I am taking the Jets this week.  I know what you are thinking.  Greg, you have been very outspoken in NEVER taking the Jets to cover any spread.  The Lord himself spoke to you and told you it was sin.  Even God makes exceptions and this week is one of those exceptions.  Here’s how I see it…  All week long the New York press has been going wild about journeyman QB/Norse War Lord Ryan Fitzpatrick tossing six (6) interceptions last week against the Chiefs, thus dropping into everyone’s mind that he will NEVER have success again.  Meanwhile the Seahawks haven’t exactly been lighting it up and roll into The Big Apple with Russell Wilson’s leg held on with tape and hope.  I don’t know who the fuck that guy was that backs him up, but he really sucked when he got in last week.  The Jets at home with points in an early game?  Yes please.  That Jet team is pretty good and underrated while I think the Seahawks are eroding.  Jets +2.5

I have some definite areas of concern looking at the rest of these games.  Vegas has really got these lines dialed in now.  This is when my early season advantage departs for good.  It’s almost time to hand back my early winnings.  With that caveat out for the record, I am going to cautiously take the Oakland Raiders +3.5 over Baltimore.  This is a gut pick all the way.  I have seen the Ravens play twice this year and they aren’t very impressive.  Yes they are 3-0, but wins against the Buffalo/Browns/Jacksonville isn’t exactly murderers row.  I see the Raiders as one of those teams flirting with sliding into the Playoffs so they can get humiliated in Round One.  To be able to get humiliated in the Playoffs, you have to win these kinds of games.  The fact that the Raiders are getting 3.5 puts it up and over for me.  Oakland +3.5



Season Record: 7-2  

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