Sunday, September 10, 2017

Nurse the Hate: 2017 NFL Week 1

It's NFL Week One and I am going to come out of the gate flying.  I was all over the KC Chiefs on Thursday night for a big win, and I am going to keep it going today.  I am going to stick with my mantra, which is a) The Public is always wrong and b) maybe demonstrates I don't know what the word "mantra" means.  I can't let things like that slow me down.  I am a comet streaking across the sky tossing money around like a drunken sailor.  As an aside, I think I would be a great drunken sailor.  If I didn't have such an aversion to authority figures I would love to stumble around an Asian port buying liquor, tattoos, and prostitutes in my dress whites.  I would exclusively drink British Naval Rum in that scenario I'd like to add.  However, I am a bit long in the tooth to join the Navy and a bit too American to join the British Navy.  Plus, who has the time when there are NFL games to bet on?

Here's something you need to know.  The Steelers beat the Browns every single time they play the Browns.  Oh sure, if you look up the records there are a couple games the Browns allegedly won, but I think of those as being fever visions or fairy tales.  Those games are like Bigfoot walking through the woods.  It would be great if that had happened, but the only evidence is a grainy photograph of what is likely a hoax.  Let's focus on the reality.  The Steelers are expected to contend for a Super Bowl.  Steeler QB Ben Roethlisberger is 20-2 lifetime versus the Browns.  Let that sink in for a second.  The Browns are starting a rookie QB that has looked shaky against teams playing standard defenses, not the complicated zone blitz scheme the Steelers are going to throw at him today.  The Browns two best defensive players are out, one of which they actually released so the Steelers could sign him.  I fully expect Joe Haden to get a pick six today and dance around like James Brown in the end zone in his new Steeler gear.  When he does I will laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.  It's the most Brownsy thing possible, which makes it a certainty.  It's odd with the Browns.  Most of the city of Cleveland has talked themselves into believing that the Browns are a pretty decent football team after the team went 4-0 in preseason.  This is in spite of the fact that they were a 1-15 team last year that was somehow worse than their record indicated.  The city is convinced though.  There are normally sane local sportswriters predicting 6 or 7 wins for the Browns this season.  This mass delusion represents great opportunity.  Pittsburgh -9.

Having spent as much time in San Francisco as I have this year, I have become well versed in San Francisco sports nuance.  The 49ers had completely fallen apart and needed to rebuild.  Unlike Cleveland, they didn't decide to pointlessly lose all their good players.  They built on things they had.  To do so, they hired a coach that had produced some success in Kyle Shanahan, who promptly hired a QB in Brian Hoyer that he had success with in Cleveland.  The Public believes the 49ers will always be terrible and Hoyer sucks because of a disastrous high profile Playoff loss as a Texan.  They have forgotten that Hoyer is OK.  Not great.  OK.  When you have a defense that can keep you in a game like San Francisco does, having an OK quarterback is all you need with too many points given to you at home. I don't think they win, but I think they just hang around in this game.   San Francisco +5 over Carolina.   


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