Nurse the Hate: How TV Works and Wild Card Weekend Day 2

 

I have worked in television for 17 years.  During this time TV has radically changed and yet stayed stoically the same.  Each year ABC would have an event called "an upfront" where they would preview their prime programming lineup in an attempt to build enthusiasm amongst the advertising community.  The network would air something called a "sizzle reel" which is a promo trailer for the shows.  During my time I have seen a zillion shows pitched, and have instantly been able to spot shows that were going to be cancelled in a few weeks.  As there are only six TV shows (cop show, doctor show, wisecracking sitcom, family drama, reality show, game show), the same basic plot lines get regurgitated over and over.  By my third year at the station, I stopped paying attention to what they shows were entirely as I could provide a reasonable synopsis on the show by title alone.   

The problem with TV now is that there are a million platforms/channels/apps all trying to fill up with "content".  Even when there used to be only three Networks, there were only four good shows going at any one time.  Now there is an avalanche of shows, all basically the same, all screaming for attention.  I can't tell you how many times someone has told me about a show I've never heard of on a network I'm vaguely familiar with that I have no intention of ever searching for to watch.  Yet, I found myself searching for something to fall asleep to the other morning and hoped the incessantly promoed Season Three of Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan!!! would wash over me painlessly.

When your dog wakes you up at 415am because he has to take a leak because he sleeps about 22 hours a day and doesn't cling to a schedule of any kind, you're up too.  I sprawled out on the couch hoping the exciting Season Three of Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan!!! would act like a tranquilizer.  Unfortunately I immediately got annoyed by the stereotypical plot details.  To get a job as a script writer for one of these government agent/cop shows, there must be a pledge to sign where you have to stick with the cliches.  For example, why in these shows is the boss always a pointlessly confrontational prick?  It doesn't matter if it's a police chief, ship captain, Colonel or department head.  When the lead actor comes on with what appears to be a simple job related duty, the authority figure does whatever he has to so as to make the exchange unpleasant.  The agent tells the boss "Hey, we got this tip that the bad guys are trying to do something bad." that is always met with "Well smart guy, I'm not going to have you cowboy around out there so don't even tell me this key information and get out of my sight!".  When the lead actor has to take a ship to conduct his job, the captain greets him as he comes aboard with "You know you're a pain in my ass.  I will get you to where you need to go Fly Boy, but when I drop you off I ain't coming back to pull your ass out of the fire!".  Then the lead actor just brushes it off like it's status quo and says something like "Appreciate the lift.".  

Maybe this is an occupational reality I just don't understand.  Maybe at all these jobs when you walk through the door, you're instantly greeted with "Don't give me any of your shit!".  I just might have been blissfully unaware.  I might embrace that behavior for a week and just see what happens.  I will just leap down anyone's throat when they make the most simple conversation.  When I walk into a Starbucks and the person at the register asks "How can I help you?", I'm coming in hard with "Don't give me any of that flower talk Missy.  We all have a job to do and right now you're a pain in my ass!  Coffee!  Black!  And get back to work!".  After that maybe I shuffle some papers and storm over to the waiting area.  There's a pretty good chance someone will spot me and think, "I bet that guy is a General or Police Captain.".  Maybe I get a job offer to become a police captain.  Or, even better, maybe I get "discovered" and get a big juicy role in Season Four of Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan!!!!.

Change is hard.  Maybe I'll just stick to what I know, which at this moment appears to be NFL Football.  As I discussed yesterday, I think Buffalo will kick the shit out of Miami.  Miami is in a bad spot in that Skylar Thompson is probably not likely to waltz into Buffalo and stare down the Bills.  Miami can't start Tua at QB, because, let's be honest, Tua should stop playing football because he's probably suffered a stunning amount of brain damage already.  The Bills will probably cover 14, but I'm not touching that as I'm on record as saying the teaser was the way to go there.  I'm also feeling good about the second leg of my SF teaser on the Cincinnati -1.5.   The Ravens have a great defense, but unless they get a bunch of turnovers, I don't see how they score enough to win.  

I'm going to take a small flier on the Giants +3 today.  Minnesota is tough at home, but they just have the stench of a loser.  Minnesota hasn't covered four of their last five, the only cover a week 17 win over a tanking Bears.  Cousins is well documented as not playing nearly as well when not in a 1pm EST start time, and this game goes off at 430p.  He's got some weird OCD routine thing where he likes playing at 1.  I don't understand it, but I'm aware of it.  The Giants are 13-4 ATS this year.  They are an unsexy team that grinds and hangs around in games.  This feels like a FG game to me, so I'll take the three points just so I have an interest in this game as opposed to Season Three of Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan!!!  Giants +3 

Season Record 37-19-1