Nurse The Hate: The Difficulties Of Language, Social Media and NFL Week 17

One of my resolutions this year is to spend less time looking at social media.  I have two basic accounts, a Facebook and Instagram page.  When I started the Instagram one I decided that would be more wine centric with some of my more travel focused friends that photograph new and interesting places.  I spend too much time scrolling through reels on Instagram which the algorithm has decided I am only interested in Fireworks disasters, construction mishaps, basset hounds, big wave surfing and midgets.  (I knew I shouldn't have lingered on that Mini Kiss post I saw, but dammit, I couldn't help it.  It was good.). Also, I don't think I am allowed to use the word "midget" at this point in society, so I am going to click open a new window to check.  Give me a second...

OK.  I looked it up...  According to health.com, which may or may not be an authority on this subject, the word "midget" is indeed offensive.  I can use "little people" and "dwarf" as descriptors but not "midget" as that was a term used in 19th Century Freak Shows and is considered derogatory.  I would like to apologize now to any person of short stature whom I may have inadvertently offended by my ignorant word usage earlier.  Frankly, I would have guessed "dwarf" was a no-go too, but it's hard to know what is on the hit list at any current point.  Language is always evolving, so you need to stay up with the times.  I just became my grandfather calling someone "Oriental" not knowing he was fucking up, but in my defense I did just see an ad for "midget wrestling" at a local microbrewery so the transition on little person lingo is apparently still evolving.  I'm not interested in that wrestling event either either, but I would like to confirm I do have a curiosity in Mini Kiss.  I don't know how I can make the Lil Jacob Walker videos stop coming my way, so I just need to limit my time on that platform.

The Facebook (as I like to call it) is almost all friends of mine with some musicians tossed in.  Something I discovered in the harsh dividing line of time that was the Covid epidemic was that almost all of my same age friends totally retreated into late middle age lifestyle.  People that used to post pictures of late nights at concert venues, wild travel adventures, and group fun now make posts along the lines of "We made jam" or "Janet brought the baby".  As Facebook would say, "I am regressing in engagement".  I'm sure the jam came out great, but I need better content from you Meagan.  Brad, I don't give a shit about Janet or her fucked up looking kid.  Pick it up.  Give me something more.  Don't make me look at little person videos.

This is, of course, the weakness of The Facebook.  Almost everyone you know is boring.  The only thing worse are "influencers".  These are still life versions of reality TV that only exists to move product.  No matter how you cut it, there's not a great deal of real communication there.  It's only going to get worse on an election year where The Facebook will undoubtedly confirm some of your secret fears that many of your friend circle are NeoFacist Christian Right Kooks.  It will be an exciting year of disinformation and fear.  Buckle up.  I am going to read more books.  I used to read more than I do now, and I am getting back to it.  I've already finished one book this week and plan to get another one done today.  I am going to read as much as possible this year before the Suede Denim Secret Police start the community book burnings in 2025.

The other thing I am going to do is ratchet up the sports betting.  It's one of the few things that bring me joy.  I can't tell you how happy I was when David Njoku went over 55.5 yards to bring in my three part parlay on Thursday night with the Browns/over.  What a time to be alive!  I might go out and buy mink shoes later today.  Having all this free time this week has allowed me to concentrate on this week's NFL slate.  I'm planning on a frenzy of New Year's Eve betting, so let's get started...

I like Denver this week.  Look, the Broncos benched Russell Wilson because Wilson has become a middle of the road player but he's being paid like a Top 5 NFL QB.  That would be one thing, but he also seems like he's a pain in the ass.  Denver is going to make sure he doesn't get hurt to save a potential $35M+ payment this Spring and take the hit allowing them to move on from the guy.  Will it be financially painful?  Yes.  That tells you how much they believe the move to starting Jarrett Stidham will be a lateral.  The Broncos liked Stidham so much that they outbid the Raiders for him last offseason.  Denver was at home giving the sack of shit Chargers 5.5, and now the line is 3.5?  I don't believe Wilson is worth two points.  In 2015 he was, but not in 2023.  I took an alternate line of Denver -3 at -130 and look forward to watching the Chargers be the Chargers and give me this win.

The Rams have quietly become a top NFL offense.  Since committing to Kyren Williams as the lead back, the Rams are 6-2 and move the ball at will.  They are the #6 offense in the NFL in the second half of the season.  They still have a potential playoff berth to play for and now they get to play the New York Giants.  The Giants can't stop good teams from scoring, and I think Tyrod can create enough offense for New York to be competitive and make sure the Rams keep the foot on the floor.  The Saints just scored 24 on 'em.  The Saints!  The Rams should light these guys up.  LA Rams OVER 23.5.

To make a couple of dogshit games interesting I am going to tease Carolina over Jacksonville and the Saints over Tampa.  I think Jacksonville is dead in the water.  They've taken too many injuries and don't have the depth to cover it.  Either Lawrence starts for the Jags with his high ankle sprain and sprained shoulder AC joint two weeks after a concussion OR CJ Beathard with whatever he's nursing after that Bengals game.  Neither option is good.  Jacksonville has scored 12 and 7 in the last two weeks.  Meanwhile Carolina has quietly put together a Top 10 defense on a real piece of shit team.  I think the Panthers can keep this game closer than anyone in Jacksonville suspects.  Carolina +10.5.  

Meanwhile, all the metrics show the Saints to be a pretty good team.  They just can't win games.  In the last month they've been pretty good though.  They hung in there with the Rams last week coming off two straight wins over the Giants and Panthers (holding both to 6 points).  They lost to the Lions by 5 a month ago.  Tampa is on a four game win streak, but that's also against Jacksonville/Green Bay/Atlanta/Carolina.  This game should be close, so give me New Orleans +8.5 in the back half of the teaser.  Saints will probably lose despite outplaying Tampa.  Carolina +10.5/New Orleans +8.5   

Current Record:  26-21-2