Rothaus Pils and NFL Week 14

 

I ordered a Rothaus Pils from the extensive bottle list.  The doughy waitress stared at me blankly as I did so, her mouth slightly open.  I wondered if she consistently had a dry tongue and if she wondered why.  She said "OK" as she took my order and walked away.  I didn't think she listened to what I said and waited for her to bring me the wrong thing.  Not listening has somehow morphed into the norm.  I can't tell you how often I need to repeat things to people.  I waited and looked at the wall of TVs, all of them playing obscure college sporting events.  

Ten minutes past and the doughy waitress returned.  "Umm what did you want again?".  Normally I would just order it again and accept the situation, but I felt feisty today.  "I knew you weren't listening when I ordered.  Hey, I'm just asking and I'm not assessing blame, but when I ordered did you not know what I was talking about at the time or just forget?".  She stared at me blankly.  We both knew I was definitely assessing blame.  I picked up the paper menu.  "Look.  See this one here?"  I pointed at "Rothaus" on the menu.  "Can you bring me a bottle of that?".  She looked at me with half closed lids.  "uh-huh".  

With the legalization of weed, it's hard to figure out if she was high as fuck, mentally challenged, or just didn't give a fuck.  My gut told me it was "just didn't give a fuck" and that was confirmed when I saw her standing by the bar shooting the shit with some other hillbilly server with a terrible tattoo barbed wire tattoo creeping up his neck.  Her plump gut pushed over the seam of her pants.  The bearded tattoo server guy touched her arm.  Love was in the air.  The Rothaus Pils may or may not arrive. 

I took that opportunity to dive into the NFL lines.  Look, there's one that jumped out at me.  I cannot understand why Arizona is less than a FG favorite to Seattle at home.  The Cardinals lost two weeks ago in a weird game at Seattle.  They are clearly a better team than Seattle overall and have played the second toughest schedule in the league.  It's tough to beat a divisional opponent twice, and the Seahawks are fairly dodgy.  I really like Arizona -2.5 here.   

I am getting the same vibes from Kansas City as that Steelers team that went 11-1 a few years ago but clearly sorta sucked.  I think the wheels are going to fall off the Chiefs.  I also think the Chargers are a team that have entered my "circle of trust".  This seems like they have morphed into one of those textbook Jim Harbaugh teams that plays tough defense, runs the ball, and doesn't beat themselves.  That is essentially what Kansas City is trying to, which is fine, but covering more than a FG is asking too much here.  In their last three, Kansas City has won on the last play versus a shitty Raiders team, a shitty Panthers team, and got their ass beat by Buffalo.  The Chargers are a legit first round playoff team.  I'll take Chargers +4.  

Pittsburgh lost on prime time TV to Cleveland on a weird snowy night.  The Browns made snow angels and celebrated like they won the Super Bowl.  Pittsburgh is 19-1 at home versus the Browns in their last 20 meetings.  Are the Playoff bound Steelers going to get swept by the Browns in the season series by losing at home in December?  No sir, they are not.  Will it be close?  With Jameis, anything is possible.  I'm staying away from the spread.  Pittsburgh money line.

Kirk Cousins is clearly injured.  The Falcons reported him having a right shoulder and right elbow injury, two fairly important body parts when you are trying to throw a ball past vicious thugs trying to kill you and take away the ball.  He's emotionally involved in wanting to play in his return to Minnesota, which I look at as an opportunity.  This Viking team is not an elite team, but they are a solid quarter final playoff team with a very good defense.  The Falcons inability to create a pass rush on Darnold is a good combo with a Viking defense that will pressure Cousins.  It's not a high powered Viking offense, but it's enough to win.  Minnesota is 5-1 at home this year.  Atlanta is soft.  Minnesota money line.   Cousins might not even play the whole game.  I could see Pennix going in for the second half.  Give me Cousins under 245.5 yards passing too.

Current Record:  26-22