Nurse the Hate: Hate The Plumbing Problem
Horrifying hillbilly story I heard today: A plumber was called out to a house that reported rapidly rising water in their basement. The plumber arrived to find the owners of the house concerned, telling him that the water was almost ready to reach the top of the basement stairs. The plumber walked to the basement door, and the smell made him gag before he could even open the door. He went outside to get a mask, and started to become very concerned about what he would find.
When he opened the door to the basement it became obvious this was no garden variety leak. The water was brown and was almost cresting to the top stair, the water currently just four steps below the doorway. The smell was horrible. This was obviously untreated sewage. It made him gag, and this was a man that routinely hauled sanitary napkins from shit stained pipes. Then he noticed something moving across the top of the water at the far end of the basement. He was worried it was a rat, as the house wasn't exactly the cleanest he had been to that day. It disappeared, and then re-appeared right in front of him. It was a ten year old boy, blowing water out of his mouth, and using the basement like a new indoor recreation facility.
The plumber freaked out, pulled off his mask, and yelled at the father. "You have to get him out of there! That's untreated human waste!". The father, cracking open a Natural Light, said, "Aw, it's OK. It's just like a swimming pool in the basement. He's got my permission." The plumber started to yell at the father about calling social services, and that sort of thing, as the father chuckled while the boy emerged from the six foot deep shit water in his basement.
This is now the plumber's go-to story for "the worst he's ever seen".