Saturday, October 8, 2011

Nurse the Hate: Hate Saturday

Penn State and Ohio State are the same thing. Like two Football Wal Marts, each provides the rural residents surrounding the franchise locations with weekend distraction. Like a Wal Mart, you know what you are going to get, in this case nine or so wins and a Bowl Game. It is comforting, like knowing that a McDonald’s cheeseburger tastes the same in State College PA as it does in Oslo Norway. Every year the leaves change color and fall, and every year Penn State loses to Iowa.

I don’t know how I never noticed this before, but Iowa is 8-1 in their last 9 vs Penn State. I am not talking about being 8-1 against the spread. They are 8-1 outright. Iowa is usually pretty good, but not that good. Iowa is like Herman’s Hermits while Penn State is the Yardbirds. And in this case, it is like Herman’s Hermits blows the Yardbirds off the stage every show. “Fucking Peter Noone cartwheeled off the stage belting out “I’m Into Something Good” while on fire! I couldn’t believe it!” I am taking Iowa +4.5 and the under. If it happened 8 of the last 9 years, it has a pretty good chance of happening again, right?

The Ohio State franchise just can’t get past this tattoo scandal. Their best receiver got suspended another 5 games because he was allegedly overpaid by $700 for work he did over the summer. I think $700 is what a pair of tickets cost to the OSU/Michigan game in the lower bowl. Don't worry about that. Let's take away the meaning in that kid's life so we can pretend college football is once again “clean”. Whew! I’m glad that got fixed. Now we can get on with the rich college football tradition of Big 10 Football, where Ohio State goes on the road to play one of the 12 teams in the Big 10, in this case Nebraska.

Nebraska, another Wal Mart franchise, should handle the Buckeyes. That is being held as an absolute truth. That worries me, but let’s move on and ask ourselves, “Can Ohio State stop Nebraska?”. If they can, we’ll have to go with the under. Ohio State is incapable of scoring against grown ups. All their heavily tattooed good guys are gone, and now they are left with the guys that haven’t got their free tattoos yet. That hasn’t gone too well so far. I am going OSU/Nebraska UNDER 45.

I don't have any information on Rutgers. I don't really know anything about Pitt. What I do know is that these two teams are pretty much the same. Pitt is pretty good. Rutgers is pretty good. Nothing to get too excited about. Rutgers is at home getting seven? OK, I'll take a flier on that. Rutgers +7.


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