Sunday, October 9, 2011

Nurse the Hate: Quick Picks

OK, so I have been batting about .500 so far. Today doesn't look like it will help. It's a wilderness of mirrors out there. The oddsmakers have the teams pretty well figured, and even more importantly, they have the public figured. The lines are not so much a reflection on how good a team is but rather how good the public thinks they are. That's why I really like Tennessee +3.5 today over Pittsburgh. Tennessee looks like a legit 10-6 team, and Pittsburgh looks like an injury riddled 8-8 team. Matt Hasselback is healthy for the Titans, and now is the time to bet on him as he'll only be healthy for another 23 minutes. That man has had more injuries than Evel Knievel, but right now is successfully held together by tape. Take advantage of people thinking Pittsburgh is still the AFC Champ.

I think Houston will win the AFC South. If you are going to win the AFC South, you probably need to beat Oakland at home. I'm sure much will be made to "Win One For Al" in the Raider media, but I don't think a bunch of stupid guys in their twenties give a shit about some 80 year old leathery white guy that looked like the Cryptkeeper. I like Houston -4.5.

The Carolina/New Orleans over under is 51.5. That seems too low, doesn't it? It seems impossible that these two track star teams don't wind up in a 34-31 shootout. Drew Brees will probably drop 31 on Carolina by halftime, right? I see Cam Newton highlights on SportsCenter every time I jump on the treadmill. Everyone knows this game will be high scoring, don't they? That's why I am on the UNDER 51.5.

I watch the Chargers a lot at 4:00. I envision myself one day standing around in that sky blue gear knocking back Ballast Point IPAs in the parking lot singing that disco "San Diego SuperChargers!" song. I will live in La Jolla and have no apparent source of income, but yet wear $900 shorts. I will wonder, like everyone in Southern California, why the Chargers can have so much talent on paper but still can't seem to win big games. I think it is so friggin laid back out there, it seeps into the football team. Out in the Midwest, we freak out if our teams lose. In SoCal, people go to the beach and smoke weed. This week San Diego goes to Denver. They should kill the Broncos on paper. The Broncos are awful. They won't though. In typical Charger fashion, they will play to the level of their competition. I like Denver +4.5.


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