Nurse the Hate: King Khan and NFL Week 4

 

I was very excited that I got the chance to see King Khan and BBQ Show play after years of listening to their records.  To those of you that are uninitiated, the duo plays a sort of punked up version of early 1960s AM Radio pop.  It's all the glorious hooks of chart hits from a bygone era mashed through the meat grinder of distorted guitar and minimalist rhythm.  To me they remind me of bands from the Crypt Records label in the mid-1990s, an odd time when a bunch of musical misfits from around the globe all came together with their own fucked up ideas of taking retro rock and roll and updating it with primitive means.  It's my personal favorite era of music within the micro subgenere where the Whiskey Daredevils dwell.  2022 King Khan would be great on a bill with 1996 Thee Headcoats and 2006 Reigning Sound.  Can we make that happen? 

I really feel like I haven't been able to get back on track with seeing music since the pandemic.  That pandemic time-out allowed me to get soft and drift into the "sit-on-the-couch-Netflix-it's-sorta-late-maybe-I'll-stay-in" world of the rest of the planet.  Whenever  go see a band play where I have forced myself out the door to go to the gig, I am always glad I did.  I can't ever recall going to see someone play and think "I should have gone to bed early".  Sitting in front of a video screen isn't living.  I refuse to be defined by what video selection I made on my streaming service.  It sure is easy though.  It was with this mindset that I decided to see King Khan on a Tuesday night after band practice.

I was concerned about the timing of the show.  We wrapped practice up around 10p.  It would take me about 30 minutes to get to the Beachland from the practice space, so I would definitely miss part of the set.  The bill was a DJ, an opener, and the headliner with an 8p start time.  I'm thinking DJ until 830p.  The opener goes 830-915p.  Headliner plays 945-11p.  If I get there at 10:30 or so, I'll see the last 30 minutes of the set.  It's not ideal, but the gig is sort of on my way home.  I mentally commit and head towards the Beachland.

I felt like it was a good sign when I was able to secure the parking space directly in front of the club.  I roared up and sauntered in to see what the situation was with the show.  I found that the pandemic has also shaken up the employment ranks of all the clubs.  I reliably knew all the door people at the clubs where shows went off that I was interested in.  Now I don't know anyone as all the old help had a time out to think "What am I doing with my life?" and have since taken up jobs that offered a semblance of normalcy.  For example, at the Beachland I would know that I could ask Michael about the timing of the show and he'd shoot me straight.  "Hey man, they went on like an hour ago.  If you want to catch the last 15 minutes I'll stamp you in."  The expectation would be set.  I would get in for free with the unspoken understanding that I'd buy a drink or two and maybe some band merch.  This time the door man, or "door kid" in this case, was a stranger to me.  I could hear the band playing behind the doors.

"Hey, how long ago did these guys start?"  The guy working the door clearly wasn't paying attention.  "Oh, they just started."  I knew this was an example of someone telling me what they needed to so as to move the transaction along.  I said, "Look, I'm not going to pay you $20 and then walk in and hear them play their last note and say "Good Night Cleveland!", am I?'.  He was adamant.  No!  It was 10:35p.  There was no way they just went on, but I decided to take the door guy at his word.  All the other Beachland folks have always been great to me, so there was no reason to think this young man would be any different.  I gave him a $20 and went inside.

The room was fairly full, and the band was on some extended sloppy ass jam.  They sounded good, and I went to the bar to get a beer to take in the gig.  I got a pils, tipped the bar, and walked out to the ballroom just in time to hear a kill note.  "Thanks a lot everyone!  Good night!"  Motherfucker.  I had literally taken two steps into the ballroom.  I hadn't even seen the guys on stage playing their instruments.  I did get a one (1) song encore.  That was good.  Then it was over.  Technically I have now seen King Khan and Bar-b-que Show.  I'm still glad I went, though I will admit I did say to door boy on the way out, "You really fucked me on that one!  I'm not demanding my money back, but YOU OWE ME!".  

That's the way things go sometimes.  Sometimes you need to have some kharmic payback sitting there in the bank, ready to be withdrawn at the right moment.  That's sort of the way I feel about Baker Mayfield.  I feel like he "owes me" for his horrendous play in the 2021 season and singlehandedly spiking the Browns postseason dreams into the dirt.  He revealed himself to be unable to perform at the highest level of the NFL last year.  I'm not angry at him for that.  Most people can't play QB in the league.  It's almost impossible, especially when you're a little fella like Baker.  But he did get me to buy in to his ability to be "the guy" in 2020, and then pulled the rug out from me when he got his shoulder torn off and refused to sit out and heal.  Instead his focus was "crush the dreams of the team".  

Well, it's payback time now, and I'm ready for Baker to continue playing poorly this week against the Arizona Cardinals.  Both the Panthers and Cardinals are 1-2.  The Panthers win came courtesy of a 3 turnover differential against New Orleans, who I'd like to point out is playing with a QB with a broken back.  In that game Mayfield threw for 148 yards, 67 of which came in one play.  The Panthers lost to the Giants and Browns, both teams outplayed them.  Meanwhile the Cards lost to the Chiefs and Rams.  OK...  So I get the Cardinals and points playing against Baker Mayfield with a terrible offensive line and no Christian McCaffrey?  Yeah, I'll do that.  Arizona +1.5    

I am a big believer in "buy low/sell high" in the NFL.  After the Colts win over KC last week, the narrative seems to be "well, the Colts are back and it looks like they're going to be OK".  To me it looks like, "Matt Ryan looks awful and they can't get Taylor loose and maybe that coach sucks and lost the team when they bungled the end of 2021".   At the same time, who is less sexy to get behind than the Tennessee Titans?  Tannehill had a horrible playoff game that looks like his legacy performance.  Henry looks slow and almost out of gas.  They lost AJ Brown.  They've got a tackle out.  What's really the difference between these two teams?  Why are the Colts favored over anyone by 3.5 points?  The Colts are last in scoring, yet they're going to go out and handle Tennessee in a divisional game?  I'm taking the points here and hope Tannehill can find a way.  Tennessee +3.5    

The Falcons are 3-0 ATS this year.  That's impressive for a team that is obviously one of the bottom five teams in the league at this moment.  This is a perfect team for the Browns to outmuscle.  Cleveland is going to go in there and hand the ball off 47 times, throw dump passes to control the clock and win a boring football game by one possession.  This is the only formula to win with Jacoby Brissett, and one that can be very successful against bad teams like the Browns have played so far.  This game is going to look like an NFL game from 1967 with both teams grinding it out and hoping to control field position.  My plan is to drink heavily through it and make fun of the TV commercials.  Cleveland -1.5  

Season record:  6-4