Oh Canada and NFL Week 15

 

I went up to Canada this week to pay a visit to Pillitteri Wine to talk about their ice wine and appassimento winemaking techniques, the way one does.  I hadn't been to Canada in years.  It hit me that the last time I traveled through the Buffalo crossing was when Gary was still in the band.  The one (and only) time we went to Canada with Gary was when we played a Friday night gig at the Mohawk and stayed at Marty's place afterwards.  We were going to do Erie the next day, so we had a full day of downtime.  I grew up in Erie so I can say this with a sense of experience.  When faced with a full day of free time in early December, Erie does not present a full menu of opportunities for grown men from Cleveland.  At least in Buffalo we could go take a look at Niagara Falls and maybe kill time in a casino.  

Ken was still working on his degree, so I remember he had planned to study at Marty's house while Leo, Gary and I went out for our mild adventure.  We jumped in the van and drove towards Niagara Falls.  As I'm driving up there I ask the two other guys, "Which side of the Falls should we do?  US or Canada?".  Gary had no opinion, and Leo said "Canada".  I agreed with him as going to another country at least sounded interesting.  "OK, Canada it is!".  This was so long ago you didn't need a passport to make the border cross, just your driver's license, so you could make spur of the moment decisions like that.

We drive up to the border crossing and hand the man in the booth our IDs.  The guy asks, "Have any of you ever been arrested in Canada before?".  No.  "OK, pull up over there and go inside the office."  I've done this border cross a bunch of times and never had this happen before, but whatever.  We walk inside the office and get told to sit in this waiting room area with a small group of other people.  They have our IDs so we aren't going anywhere.  About 15 minutes later a Canadian cop stands at the counter and says "Gary?  Which one of you are Gary?".  

As Gary walks up to the counter the cop immediately starts lambasting him in front of the entire room.  "Did you get arrested in Toronto a few years ago?  DID YOU?  WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY "YES" WHEN THE MAN AT THE BOOTH ASKED IF ANYONE IN THE CAR HAD BEEN ARRESTED IN CANADA BEFORE?".  I mean, he REALLY laid into him.  Everyone in the waiting area was wincing and going "Ohhhhhh" as the dress down continued.  The cop did have a point though.  The even bigger point that I wanted to tell the cop was "Hey, this guy knew he was going to get flagged on this and instead of saying "Guys, we might have a hassle if we try to cross the border.  We should probably stay on the American side." he decided to see if he would skate through.  In his risk/reward analysis he decided that instead of revealing a potential issue to his bandmates, it would be better to flip a coin to see if he would get tossed in a Canadian jail.  This was one of the mounting red flags in the Gary Era of the Daredevils.

Gary gave some sort of unconvincing response to the cop like you'd see of someone that got called in front of a judge in traffic court.  It was a variation of "I thought the lawyer took care of it" and "I didn't know" that no one was buying into, but legally he wasn't on the hook for anything because we all got our licenses back.  I think we got pulled into the office just so they could yell at him in front of a bunch of people for lying at the crossing point.  By the way, we never got the story on how he got arrested and the ensuing legal drama, which would have at least been an interesting story on the drive from Buffalo to Erie.  

I remember a couple of other things from that little day trip.  We went into a casino where Leo and I decided to take our gig money from the night before and play it on red/black on a roulette wheel.  If we won, we'd eat a good seafood meal in Erie.  If we lost, we'd have to get dinner in a gas station.  Leo would choose the table and the time to put the money down, as was our custom.  Leo picked red, it came up red, and we later ate at what was then The Buoy on the Public Dock in Erie.  I ate the scallops.  They were previously frozen and rubbery.  The broccoli was overcooked.  The baked potato was on point though.  

The other thing I remember was going into the Duty Free shop so Gary could spend the last remaining $5 of Canadian currency he had on him.  I swear to Christ he spent 20-25 minutes walking back and forth deciding between a giant Toberlone and a glass maple leaf shaped bottle of syrup.  It got to the point where I was like "Hey man, we have to go.  We are running late.  Why don't you get the smaller Toberlone and the smaller maple syrup for the money so you can have both?  Or if you want something that's only Canadian get the syrup because you can buy a Toberlone anywhere.  Just make a decision...."  Gary, either oblivious or uncaring, paced back and forth between the two shelves running the options in his head making an occasional sighing noise.  In the end, after the excruciating decision making process he got the candy which he munched on contentedly as we drove to get Ken.  

And that was the last time I had been in Canada.

I was able to listen to a bunch of NFL podcasts on the drive back.  That Lake Effect snowstorm hit the Buffalo area, so I drove all the way around Lake Erie to get back via Detroit.  That's a lot of podcast time.  The one thing I kept hearing was how the Saints had not ruled out Derek Carr this week.  This seems at odds with reality as the Carr injury to his wrist was so odd it was being referred to as "career threatening", so I can't imagine why Carr would trot out there to play a pointless game for the 5-8 Saints.  True, it would give them a chance to win if he was healthy.  They were 3-2 after he returned from his previous injury, but let's be reasonable.  He's not playing.  That means that Jake Haener is starting, and the Saints morph back into being one of the worst teams in the NFL.  I'm going to move the line back to under a touchdown and take Washington -6.

As soon as the Browns got dismantled by the Steelers, I knew I wanted to bet Cleveland with the points over Kansas City.  The Chiefs keep winning with flukes, crazy luck, and overall good fortune.  How many teams go 8-1 while somehow being 0-9 ATS?  Kansas City's offense is below average.  They just don't score a lot of points.  When you are betting the Browns, you are strapping in for Mr. High Variance himself, Jameis Winston.  He sorta sucked last week, so I'm hoping the pendulum swings back this week.  I took Cleveland +6.5 and I wouldn't be stunned if they won the game outright.  It's also important to note I could also see them losing 31-10.  That's why this is gambling.

I listened to a NY area podcast where I heard two angry guys yelling about the Jets and Giants for about 45 minutes.  Here's a fun fact.  The Giants practiced outside this week, I suppose to prepare for sorta crappy weather expected in New York this weekend.  Tommy Cutlets is starting for the Giants with Drew Lock now out with whatever is wrong with him.  In practice they did a Red Zone drill where it was first team offense v defense.  The offense went 0-17 in trying to score.  I repeat, 0-17.  I'm not optimistic on the Giants chances versus a Ravens team that needs to win badly.  The number is huge, so I'm going to bank on the Ravens coming out fast, putting up a big lead and then grinding out the second half on the ground.  Baltimore first half -9.

Philadelphia might be the best team in the NFC, but 5.5 is a lot of points to give Pittsburgh.  I can recite off all those "Mike Tomlin as an underdog" stats, but if you've read this far you already know that.  This seems like one of those classic Pittsburgh teams where the defense plays like angry dogs and stymies the other team just long enough for the Steelers to score late with a big slow white tight end you've never heard of catching a four yard pass to win.  Pittsburgh +5.5

Season Record:  29-24