Nurse the Hate: NFL Championship Sunday

 

It is said that all children eventually become their parents.  I have seen the signs in myself, the evidence stacking up in the case against me.  I have now decided to ignore almost all popular culture and as a result become the confused guy that asks "Who's that?" when seeing celebrity endorsements.  Technological advances have not so much passed me by as much as I have willingly ignored them.  My iPhone has hundreds of features that not only do I not know how to use, but I have no interest in learning.  In that sense I am the same man my father was as he willfully refused to learn how his cable box worked and resigned himself to the one station he somehow locked his TV into.  He did, as a result, become disturbingly knowledgable about the station's morning news hosts, Katie and Dan, so much so that he used their first names as if they were personal friends.  

It should be noted that this was a man that ran a sales office and routinely used various reporting software, so the skill set existed to master the cable TV.  I didn't understand why he just couldn't get it.  It is only lately that I understand that he had edged into the state of being, the "giving zero fucks" zone that comes either from age or experience.  It is a sense of freedom when you lose the urgency to keep up with pop culture, drive the right car, wear the right clothes, and go to the hot new restaurant.  So as I acknowledge that I don't know the difference between Lizzo and Megan Thee Stallion, I also must come clean that despite having a device with me at all times that I can immediately access this information, I won't because I don't care.

Now this disengagement from entertainment not targeted to me is not proof that I have moved into the "Giving Zero Fucks" zone.  Honestly, I haven't known who any of the Grammy nominated music stars are for decades.  No, I think when I realized I had made a permanent shift was this week when I went outside to retrieve my wayward basset hound Montgomery in the morning snow wearing nothing but my underwear and boots.  Let's be clear.  I moved to a new house in November, so as everyone has hibernated in their homes with the winter, I haven't met anyone.  I have seen cars shuttle past, and even offered the neighborly wave, but there has been no contact.  Yet, when faced with the choice of walking upstairs to get appropriate clothes to walk down the street OR just putting my boots on that were by the door, I did not hesitate.  Do I think that any of the people that live near me were concerned to see a half naked man in boots in the snow carrying a basset hound over his shoulder?  Probably.  Will this brand me at best an "eccentric" or at worst "a dangerous degenerate"?  Perhaps.  The bottom line is that like the Lizzo situation or lack of interest in getting the latest phone upgrade, it's that I just don't care.

It's that same sense of giving zero fucks that I like about Joe Burrow.  Sure, he is focused on winning and is serious about playing well, but I like the fact he wears outrageous outfits for fun and handles his TV interviews like it's a joke (which it is).  The dude is unflappable.  If I am trending to giving zero fucks, he is well beyond that to a Zero Fuck Zen I could only pray to achieve.  There's something about this guy that is going to carry the Bengals to a win today over Kansas City.  In a league where everyone is afraid to play the Chiefs, the Bengals have beaten them in high leverage situations the last two times.  I think they do it again.

I don't know what the story is on Mahomes ankle.  When he got hurt, it seemed like the classic "high ankle sprain", that new term that indicates a player is out for a month to six weeks.  He played on one leg on the fourth quarter, but now all reports are that he's skipping around out on the practice field.  I don't know what kind of goo goo juice they shot in that leg, but I need some of that.  It must be some sort of super fetus gorilla adrenalin stuff that the Germans developed for Hitler when the Russians were knocking at the door in Berlin.  How else can you explain it?  Still, super fetus gorilla adrenalin or not, that ankle is going to limit Mahomes ability to move out of the pocket.  That gives the Bengals an edge in a razor thin game.  I bet this earlier in the week at Bengals pick em.

I don't have a strong feeling on the Philadelphia v SF game.  I think it's asking a lot of Purdy to go into Philly and win the NFC Championship game when two months ago you were concerned about how you could stay in the league.  I am confident that the Philadelphia fans started drinking immediately after whipping the Giants last weekend and are now in a full fledged rabid slobber, which also won't help the 49ers.  However, that 49er defense is the best in the league, and the best defense tends to find ways to win these late playoff games.These have been the unquestioned best teams in the NFC.  I think Philadelphia finds a way to win at home, but I'm not tossing any money at it.

Season Record:  40-20-1